topic Re: Mum Diagnosed Last Week in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Mum Diagnosed Last Week

sally999 — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 14:38:12 GMT

My mum was diagnosed with Cancer last week. She had become increasingly unwell over the last couple of weeks and my dad had taken her to the doctor last week for more tests. Those tests revealed a mass in her liver. She was also found to be very anemic and she also has an infection. Doctors believe she has cancer of the bowel and the mass in the liver is a secondary cancer. She has had multiple blood transfusions for the anemia, she is on pain killers, and she is on antibiotics for the infection. Tests will be done this week in an attempt to find the extent of the disease and develop a plan for the treatment. No one in our family has died of cancer since the 1950's so were are unfamiliar with the issues surrounding the cancer. It appears to us mum's situation is pretty grim. We are not sure how to deal with it. I know a number of friends whose parents have survived bowel cancer, but their cancers were detected early and doctor's considered We are also a bit blown away how come mum seemed to be fine 4 weeks ago and now she has fairly advanced cancer. So I am wondering how do you deal with a diagnosis of Advanced Cancer, or perhaps incurable cancer right from the start. My dad has been at the hospital everyday, morning, noon and night and only after 4 days he seems exhausted.

Re: Mum Diagnosed Last Week

SamR — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 11:32:14 GMT

Hi Sally, So sorry for the journey your Mum, family & you are embarking on. I personally survived early stage cancer 10yrs ago, but am now waiting on results of tests this week for my Mum, who it seems may have kidney cancer, how far advanced, or if it is actually cancer is yet to be determined. I am a little in shock to be honest, as 7 wks ago Mum was enjoying a holiday overseas, so I can empathise with your feelings. I think in the early days of diagnosis, whatever stage, the reaction to the news, can be exhausting in itself. The world gets turned upside down. I think the key for your father, you and family is to remember, to take care of yourselves too, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, that way you can really support your Mum emotionally. Once you know the extent & prognosis, then you can begin the journey either to recovery or palliative care, to make your time together, special and meaningful. I don't think there is an easy way to come to terms with the grief associated with an advanced diagnosis, but perhaps it is important to remember each journey with this disease is unique and miracles can happen. At the end of the day though, quality time is important, I think. Go well and stay strong. Sam

Re: Mum Diagnosed Last Week

Nic076 — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 06:33:54 GMT

Hi Sally & Sam Mums are our strength aren't they so going through this period of time is surreal when you hear that they are not well. More so when it's cancer. My mum was diagnosed almost three weeks ago with bowel cancer. The strongest person in my life was the one that now needs my strength. Sorry I may need to finish this post a little later 😞

Re: Mum Diagnosed Last Week

T-M — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:36:46 GMT

Hi My mum has just been diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer and I understand what you are going through. I'm still in shock myself. I'd love to keep in touch.