https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13263#M1494 Of course you want to fix it for him, that is what love is. I would say just let him now that you are there for him and the kids anytime, for anything he may open up. xo Thu, 05 Jun 2014 02:58:34 GMT Minx 2014-06-05T02:58:34Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13252#M1483 Hi everyone, I'm Jo. It's been a month since my dear friend/sister in law passed away from melanoma cancer. I miss her everyday. But I'm coping ok. I need some advise on how to support my brother and his 2 children. It seems that the kids are coping ok. But I'm not totally convinced. On the other hand my brother isn't coping very well at all. It's breaking my heart. My family hasn't been brought up to talk about our feelings. He seems numb and robot like. I am so frustrated and upset. I just want to fix it for him. Please came someone offer some help, it really hurts to see him like this. Tue, 03 Jun 2014 11:48:30 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13252#M1483 DebbieR 2014-06-03T11:48:30Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13253#M1484 For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox Tue, 03 Jun 2014 22:56:52 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13253#M1484 yvette975 2014-06-03T22:56:52Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13254#M1485 For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox Tue, 03 Jun 2014 22:57:50 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13254#M1485 yvette975 2014-06-03T22:57:50Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13255#M1486 For starters you can't fix it! Nothing can. I lost my husband 3mnths ago we have 3 children 11,8,6. If he is getting out of bed in the morning than he is doing ok . operating on remote is the only way we can function. Our hearts are broken our brains and body numb.just be there, love him and support him it will get better... ox Tue, 03 Jun 2014 22:58:19 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13255#M1486 yvette975 2014-06-03T22:58:19Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13256#M1487 I lost my partner 3 years ago and only now am I going along ok. Raising three children as well. We all still have our moments. There are a few books that are really helpful with children. I will get a list of them if you would like just let me know. The Psychologist gave me the names of a couple. I found the first year I was numb so I gather the kids were somewhat like that also. The second year oh boy it hits home like a tonne of bricks. Most that I talk to say they found the second year the worst. We also have a group on facebook called young widows Australia. Its a great little group and very supportive. Wed, 04 Jun 2014 12:25:13 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13256#M1487 beck2930 2014-06-04T12:25:13Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13257#M1488 I lost my partner 3 years ago and only now am I going along ok. Raising three children as well. We all still have our moments. There are a few books that are really helpful with children. I will get a list of them if you would like just let me know. The Psychologist gave me the names of a couple. I found the first year I was numb so I gather the kids were somewhat like that also. The second year oh boy it hits home like a tonne of bricks. Most that I talk to say they found the second year the worst. We also have a group on facebook called young widows Australia. Its a great little group and very supportive. Wed, 04 Jun 2014 12:25:48 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13257#M1488 beck2930 2014-06-04T12:25:48Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13258#M1489 I lost my husband 9 months ago and I too would say we are doing ok! I still am happy if I can get all my three girls out of bed and to school each day 17, 15 1nd 10. My biggest battle is my eldest girl trying to motivate her at times is so very taxing on me, her and the other girls. She suffers anxiety and has signs of depression that I have bought a psychologist on board she always had these problems but having watched her dad go really didn't help. The older two also have access to CanTeen who I really can't speak highly enough of. I know my little one is missing out but there really is nothing out there for her age group. I think the robot comment is very valid Im sure that is how we look/looked from the outside. Thu, 05 Jun 2014 01:23:36 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13258#M1489 Minx 2014-06-05T01:23:36Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13259#M1490 Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your Input. Your stories and advise have helped me look at things a lot differently. Bless you all xx Thu, 05 Jun 2014 01:55:08 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13259#M1490 DebbieR 2014-06-05T01:55:08Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13260#M1491 Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your Input. Your stories and advise have helped me look at things a lot differently. Bless you all xx Thu, 05 Jun 2014 01:55:30 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13260#M1491 DebbieR 2014-06-05T01:55:30Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13261#M1492 You eldest sounds like mine. She is 18 in October and argh. She a good kid don't get me wrong but I swear I need to put a rocket up her backside to get her moving. I am about to send her back to Canteen they are fantastic aren't they. Not sure if you know there is a young widow group on facebook. Great support network. We also plan catchups and get togethers we are all over Australia, Thu, 05 Jun 2014 02:04:38 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13261#M1492 beck2930 2014-06-05T02:04:38Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13262#M1493 You eldest sounds like mine. She is 18 in October and argh. She a good kid don't get me wrong but I swear I need to put a rocket up her backside to get her moving. I am about to send her back to Canteen they are fantastic aren't they. Not sure if you know there is a young widow group on facebook. Great support network. We also plan catchups and get togethers we are all over Australia, Thu, 05 Jun 2014 02:05:32 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13262#M1493 beck2930 2014-06-05T02:05:32Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13263#M1494 Of course you want to fix it for him, that is what love is. I would say just let him now that you are there for him and the kids anytime, for anything he may open up. xo Thu, 05 Jun 2014 02:58:34 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13263#M1494 Minx 2014-06-05T02:58:34Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13264#M1495 How do I find the facebook page, I think Im now ready for this type of interaction. Friends are great but really don't get it! Thu, 05 Jun 2014 03:01:17 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13264#M1495 Minx 2014-06-05T03:01:17Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13265#M1496 https://www.facebook.com/groups/322960574501819/?fref=ts Its a closed group. You should be able to still search for it. Young Widows Australia Thu, 05 Jun 2014 03:45:48 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-some-advise/m-p/13265#M1496 beck2930 2014-06-05T03:45:48Z