https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6762#M2205 It must be so hard for everyone.Is she having her best friends around? Is she interested in their gossip.music,what's going on with them ? Some more ideas: TV SHOWS PLACES OF INTEREST THEME PARKS OLD SCHOOL REPORTS FUNNY MOVIES ALL PHOTOS WITH HER IN THEM FAVOURITE RELATIVES VISITS I don't know if this helps It is all I can think of at the moment.Maybe you are doing some of these,maybe these ideas will lead someone to other ideas. SO HARD when she is so young , a child ,but a child who was becoming an adolescent,ready to move into a new phase in her life.My thoughts are with you all. Wed, 25 May 2011 01:31:31 GMT SILLY 2011-05-25T01:31:31Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6761#M2204 H E L P !!!! Desperately need ideas to lift the spirits for a 12 yr old girl whose life is fading very fast. Background: My girlfriend's daughter has been fighting brain tumors for over a year now. Only 3 weeks after the last operation the tumors are back. Inoperable, chemo no longer an option. She is coming home today for palliative care. Physically she is slipping away fast. She can't walk, paralysed on one side, hands don't function well anymore, vision is now impaired, short term memory damaged. While we have a support network in place to look after the family, I am looking for ideas, what we can do for the child to lift her spirits, to make her laugh, and smile the beautiful smile she shared when she was better. Her friends are are stricken by sadness. It would help them to have ideas for happy/funny activities/ideas they could to with her/for her. Grateful for any suggestions. Tue, 24 May 2011 23:02:59 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6761#M2204 Bee 2011-05-24T23:02:59Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6762#M2205 It must be so hard for everyone.Is she having her best friends around? Is she interested in their gossip.music,what's going on with them ? Some more ideas: TV SHOWS PLACES OF INTEREST THEME PARKS OLD SCHOOL REPORTS FUNNY MOVIES ALL PHOTOS WITH HER IN THEM FAVOURITE RELATIVES VISITS I don't know if this helps It is all I can think of at the moment.Maybe you are doing some of these,maybe these ideas will lead someone to other ideas. SO HARD when she is so young , a child ,but a child who was becoming an adolescent,ready to move into a new phase in her life.My thoughts are with you all. Wed, 25 May 2011 01:31:31 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6762#M2205 SILLY 2011-05-25T01:31:31Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6763#M2206 Thank you ... every idea is worth a try. Unfortunately I think she is confined to her bed - not sure if a suitable wheelchair has been organised yet. The one-sided paralysis is making many activities difficult or even impossible. Photos are a great idea. I have rung the school to take funny photos of her class mates. I will also email everyone to send me photos for an album. Her friends can't wait to see her - but some of them have been sick with the cold and might have to wait a little longer. Really appreciate your input. Wed, 25 May 2011 02:21:16 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6763#M2206 Bee 2011-05-25T02:21:16Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6764#M2207 Glad to help with ideas .How does the poor girl cope emotionally? I can't really imagine . How are her parents and siblings ? Wed, 25 May 2011 02:42:06 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6764#M2207 SILLY 2011-05-25T02:42:06Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6765#M2208 A new thought- lots of hugs or similar to make her feel even more secure and loved.That's what I needed between diagnosis and surgery .Every now and then I'd feel a strange nervousness and/or fear and a sudden and overwhelming need for my husband to hold me. And I am 60 so I imagine a girl would need this more. Hope this helps. Wed, 25 May 2011 02:54:14 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6765#M2208 SILLY 2011-05-25T02:54:14Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6766#M2209 A new thought- lots of hugs or similar to make her feel even more secure and loved.That's what I needed between diagnosis and surgery .Every now and then I'd feel a strange nervousness and/or fear and a sudden and overwhelming need for my husband to hold me. And I am 60 so I imagine a girl would need this more. Hope this helps. Wed, 25 May 2011 02:55:14 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6766#M2209 SILLY 2011-05-25T02:55:14Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6767#M2210 A new thought- lots of hugs or similar to make her feel even more secure and loved.That's what I needed between diagnosis and surgery .Every now and then I'd feel a strange nervousness and/or fear and a sudden and overwhelming need for my husband to hold me. And I am 60 so I imagine a girl would need this more. Hope this helps. Wed, 25 May 2011 02:55:25 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6767#M2210 SILLY 2011-05-25T02:55:25Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6768#M2211 I am sure she is showered with lots of love and plenty of hugs. She has a wonderful family. A quote from her mum's blog: "She is so happy to be going home, to be with her family, her smile is enormous, this is her wish. We will spend every minute of every day with her filling her with love and happiness." Her little brother is taking it very hard. Family has flown in from interstate to help. The love and support is there - it is up to us now to keep her smiling. I have a daughter of similar age, she is the most precious thing to me. I don't dare to imagine how I would feel .... Wed, 25 May 2011 03:12:43 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6768#M2211 Bee 2011-05-25T03:12:43Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6769#M2212 Hi Bee, I am so very sorry to read about this precious young girl and what she and her family are facing. Some suggestions Perhaps manicure/pedicure sessions with her friends crazy hair/hat - who can come up with the most 'out there' look (photos obligatory) cooking her favourite dish/cake/dessert etc and having a special meal with her friends everyone telling their favourite/worst joke (they could be written down and she has to rate them best to worst) everyone writing their own words to a piece of music and then singing it kareoke style mini Australia's got talent competition masterchef challenges - she comes up with an ingredient and her friends have to choose something to make using that ingredient. (they may or may not actually make it, just fun to hear what they come up) Yes/No game, ask people questions and they are not allowed to answer yes or no, if they do, then they are out. See who the winner is. Create a new word and give its meaning eg. awesomnia - so great you can't sleep if you have a scrabble game, put the letters in a bag/box/container, then pass it around, each person takes a letter and has to think of a name/flower/band (whatever you want to nominate) for the letter they pulled out. combine name of first pet, first street where you lived to create your royal title, eg Princess Fluffy Railway They are some ideas that have come to me, I hope that something in there is of use or may lead to another idea that will work. I was trying to think of things that didn't require too much movement/energy and that would also stimulate the other senses, taste/smell/sound. My best wishes to you all, Jill Wed, 25 May 2011 10:47:07 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6769#M2212 Mrs_Elton 2011-05-25T10:47:07Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6770#M2213 Jill, What awesome ideas. I had to laugh at your new word creation - awesomnia. I will copy your ideas straight from your message and email them to the girl's friends. Hopefully they are still able to share lots of fun times together. The friends actually already have made up special names for each other. The girl's name is Midnight Cupcake. Thank you - much appreciated. Wed, 25 May 2011 11:14:36 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6770#M2213 Bee 2011-05-25T11:14:36Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6771#M2214 Hi Bee, Midnight Cupcake, what a great name! If I think of anything else, I will pop online and send it through. My husband passed away on 30 May last year, his primary was osophageal cancer however he had a secondary tumour on the brain which was inoperable. It is so hard to see the people you love disappear before your eyes. I admire and commend you for your proactive approach to help give support to Midnight Cupcake and her family, It shows you are a truly special person. Kind regards, Jill Wed, 25 May 2011 11:38:50 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6771#M2214 Mrs_Elton 2011-05-25T11:38:50Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6772#M2215 Jill, I bet you are still going through a tough time, having lost your special person only a year ago. Very sad. My other girlfriend lost her husband to kidney cancer over 4 years ago. Unfortunately I didn't know he was sick, as we had lost sight of each other a bit and they kept his illness very private. I still feel bad that I couldn't be there for her and her two little kids. But my family and I have been there for them for the past 4 years and I have seen how difficult life gets when your perfect match has been taken from you. With all my heart I wish you all the strength (and all the support you need) to get to the place in time when the memory of your loved one turns from heartbreak to cherish. Best wishes, Bee Wed, 25 May 2011 12:18:54 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6772#M2215 Bee 2011-05-25T12:18:54Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6773#M2216 Hi Bee, Another thought, what if all her friends try to come up with a cupcake that is their version of what they think a Midnight Cupcake would be, eg. chocolate cupcake with turkish delight centre. Each friend/family member makes their version, Midnight Cupcake taste tests them all and decides which one she likes the best. Then down the track, there will be something tangible that everyone can do anytime they want to remember her. Jill xo Thu, 26 May 2011 01:08:35 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6773#M2216 Mrs_Elton 2011-05-26T01:08:35Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6774#M2217 That is an absolutely sweet idea. I will pass this on as well. Another mum has organised a craft evening for her friends (making cushions, spelling her name), but also making cupcakes for her. You have really creative ideas. Thank you!!! Thu, 26 May 2011 01:12:57 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6774#M2217 Bee 2011-05-26T01:12:57Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6775#M2218 Bee, Another idea that I'm not sure how people will feel about....it is something that I intend to do for my sons (7 and 9) and myself........ I am planning (when my boys are ready to do it) for each of us to go through our favourite photos of us with my husband/their father and create a powerpoint presentation (my 9 yr old does these all the time for school) which will give me photos and their own text that I can then use to make a photo book for each of us (from Officeworks/Harvey Norman etc etc). What I also will do (again when we are all ready emotionally) is find the clothes that Greg was wearing in the photos and then a friend of mine is going to make a patchwork quilt using pieces of that fabric. I will have a few special photos on the quilt too, but most of it will be clothing patches. We will have one made for each of us, might use his ties and boxer shorts for the borders. It will be something that we can wrap around us for comfort and warmth in a physical sense but also a nurturing emotional sense. I'm not sure how you would be able to adapt that for Midnight Cupcake and her friends but I'm sure that a bit of brainstorming will find an appropriate answer. These suggestions are sent with love, I hope they don't cause pain or discomfort. Jill xo Thu, 26 May 2011 01:34:58 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6775#M2218 Mrs_Elton 2011-05-26T01:34:58Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6776#M2219 The patchwork quilt is a very unique idea. Like a hug. I think it is beautiful and practical. Midnight Cupcake's grandma used to be a dressmaker. I will suggest it to the family when the time is right. I also thought about the photobooks as I have done quite a few myself. But I could imagine that it will be very hard emotionally for the family to select the photos. But I will make the offer - again, when I hope the time is right. Midnight Cupcake has arrived home from hospital and apparently is very happy to finally be home. Even her mum sounds in good spirits. But she needs 24/7 care. Thu, 26 May 2011 05:14:39 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6776#M2219 Bee 2011-05-26T05:14:39Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6777#M2220 Hi Bee I lost hubby to GBM (brain tumour) in Dec 09. When he was in paliative care, my little girls (3 and 9 at the time) did some finger printing with their dad. They used their fingers and their dad's fingers and some paint to make prints of butterflies and flowers on canvas. He had lost quite a lot of mobility by then (could not hold a spoon or a pen) but he managed that activity with the girls' help. This has become the girls' favourite memento. It was fun and light hearted when we did it. I send best wishes to Midnight Cupcake and her family. Jill, I like your idea of the quilt. I found an American site that makes teddy bears out of loved ones clothes and that's what I have done for the girls. They picked items of his clothing that they have a fond attachment to and I had these made into a teddy bear for each of them. Regards ST Thu, 26 May 2011 05:16:21 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6777#M2220 thaker 2011-05-26T05:16:21Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6778#M2221 Dear ST, They are both beautiful ideas. The finger painted fabric could be used for the quilt as well. I have lots of fabric paint. And Midnight Cupcake can do it with our help. I am amazed what great ideas I am receiving through my call for help. I didn't expect that. You are all a wonderful bunch of people. Thank you for your support!!! Bee Thu, 26 May 2011 05:38:23 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6778#M2221 Bee 2011-05-26T05:38:23Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6779#M2222 As it is hard for school friends to visit if they have colds etc.... how about video postcards ??? A short little 'hello' & these can be compiled & enjoyed over & over. Maybe even Skype - kids are so tech savvy Thoughts are with the family - my husband too has a Brain tumor but it devastates me to think of a child with this dreadful disease Sun, 05 Jun 2011 11:40:03 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6779#M2222 Smiley 2011-06-05T11:40:03Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6780#M2223 Dear Smiley, I believe Skype has been set up on their laptop, but Midnight Cupcake now has difficulties communicating. Her damaged short term memory lets her forget what happened 5 minutes ago. Very sad. But video messages is a great idea, and I agree they can be very entertaining and watched over and over again. I agree it is a cruel disease, no matter at what age it strikes. I just wish there was a cure and better odds. Best wishes to you and your husband. Mon, 06 Jun 2011 09:38:38 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/Need-ideas-to-make-the-last-few-weeks-happy-and-meaningful-for-a/m-p/6780#M2223 Bee 2011-06-06T09:38:38Z