topic Re: Thought I was coping pretty well...... in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 06:46:43 GMT

Hello. On the 8/12/2017 my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It started in his lungs and has spread throughout his body.... brain/spine/stomach. It's been a roller coaster since then. I've been asked to be strong for my mum/dad and my kids. Which I have done to the best of my ability. Now that stress is showing up physically. I'm learning that pushing down the pain is not productive, not in this situation anyway. How do you all cope?

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Thu, 25 Jan 2018 06:14:51 GMT

Dads been taken into hospital with pneumonia. He's not in a good way. They've had stop treating the cancer till he's better..... mum is really stressed. This helplessness is so heavy...

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Budgie — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 01:21:44 GMT

Hello Ky,

You need to take a break. Find someone you can download to.

Has your father made connections with his palliative care team? They are there for him & can offer advice & support for your father & you & your family. You don’t have to be the only rock in the family.

Please take care of yourself.

All the best

Budgie

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 00:03:11 GMT

Thank you Budgie 🙂 I endeavor to do better. Joining up to this site is step 1.

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

little_stitcher — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 05:46:29 GMT

Hi Ky, I can echo what Budgie said. You can only be strong for your family if you look after yourself, too- I know that sounds an impossible use of your time and energy, but it really will get you and your family through in the best shape possible. The best way to do that is to outsource as much as possible- you could check with your Dad's palliative care team (or even the Cancer Council may know) if he is eligible for any government assistance such as extra money, Home Help or taxi vouchers or practical stuff like that. You could also keep a list of stuff you would like help with, so when people say "If there's anything I can do..." you have a meaningful and beneficial answer for them. It may seem like an imposition, but most people who ask feel good that they can actually help in some way. I wish you all good things, Emily

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 05:22:44 GMT

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 05:24:01 GMT

Thank you 🙂 I really appreciate the advice 🙂

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Ky — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 04:40:47 GMT

My dad passed away early this morning 😞

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

little_stitcher — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 05:28:58 GMT

I'm so sorry Ky. Don't forget to be gentle with yourself as you grieve. Keep posting whenever you need to. Sending you huge gentle hugs, Emily

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Budgie — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 05:39:21 GMT

I am very sorry to hear that Ky.

Please take care of yourself.