topic Re: Mums breast cancer in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Mums breast cancer

Wendy52 — Mon, 04 Jun 2018 06:42:54 GMT

Hi all, I'm 52 and my mother has been diagnosed with Breast cancer in both breasts and has opted for a double mastectomy which she is due to have the operation next week. She put on a brave face and I know she is worried and scared . Although she lives 6 hours drive away ,I will be there to help support her and dad coz I know he will be a mess too. But I don't know how else to help. I've googled the operation but how do I help her mentally before and after . I don't want to sound silly but I don't think I'm coping so how do I help my mum.

Re: Mums breast cancer

little_stitcher — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 08:36:23 GMT

Hi Wendy, I'm glad you found this group, but sorry you needed to join. Don't worry about how you will cope, or how you will know what to do- when the time comes, you will. One of the things I learned during my husband's chemotherapy is that you can't cope with the whole process at once, you just have to deal with each day as it come to you. And you will know how to support your parents, too. And if you don't, don't forget to ask them! I think there's a myth that as carers we have to have all the answers and be completely on top of things all the time, but that's only a myth. As long as you are present in your parents lives you will be helping them, even if you don't always know what to do or say. The most important thing is that you show up. I wish all of you the best of luck and many good things. love and hugs, Emily

Re: Mums breast cancer

Wendy52 — Wed, 06 Jun 2018 09:13:42 GMT

Thank you Emily for your kind words ,I know deep down I will cope , I have to though don't i ? And I know mum will be fine. I have found that talking more about it actually does help and I do have good friends around me with a shoulder ready .i really appreciate your message and thanks for the love and hugs xx