topic Need advice - when should I go to see my Dad? in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Need advice - when should I go to see my Dad?

TJB2018 — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 00:19:48 GMT

Hi, my names Trudes. I’m new here. My dear Dad was diagnosed with terminal bowel and stomach cancer just over a year ago. He beat his odds given of 6 months but sadly he is now back in hospital as the tumour in his bowel has grown. He’s not been able to eat for a long time. He has a blocked bowel.

The issue is my Dad lives in UK and I really don’t know when I need to make the trip back. He’s been in hospital for the past 3 days and the palliative care nurses are giving him

meds by IV. Mum said he will likely go into hospice care after hospital

as he needs his meds via IV.

I’m so confused and sad about what to do and bless my stepmum as I think it’s hard for her to tell me he’s dying. I’ve been over twice since his diagnosis. I guess I’m just looking for advice as to whether hospice care is a sign for me heading over there or whether there may be more time. It’s so hard being so far away and having a family here

I need to look after also but I don’t want my Dad to die knowing Im not

there. Should I wait for more information. Who can I get info from at the hospital? Thanks.

Re: Need advice - when should I go to see my Dad?

kj — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 01:58:54 GMT

Hi Trude

Sorry to read about your Dads condition, if your family have asked the medical staff about how long he has left,the doctors usually have a rough idea when someone is nearing the end of there life,has the family asked that very difficult question,if so you all need to ask them the approximate time frame ,sorry to put it so blunt but with terminal illnesses time is a major factor especially as you are in another country and want to be there for your Mum and Dad.

I would also ask them for a contact number at the hospital or hospice for a Doctor who is treating your Dad have a chat and explain the predicament you are facing.

Re: Need advice - when should I go to see my Dad?

TJB2018 — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 05:18:36 GMT

Thanks so much KJ that’s some really great advice. I will try and contact the treating doctor or palliative care team. It’s so hard to ask my step mum details about his time left outright without hurting her.