topic Re: Emotional burnout in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Emotional burnout

Timebandit84 — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 23:33:08 GMT

hey everyone,

I help care for my mum who had terminal stomach cancer the treatments are starting to not work as well. She is totally miserable and very hard to be around at the mommet. She doesn’t want to accept the reality of the situation and just expects to wake up and feel well again like before she was sick she just can not come to terms with it.

I’m so emotionally burnt out from so much emotional support she needs it just feels like it’s never enough and the past years it has gotten worse. I seriously wish sometimes that I could just run away from it. I dread having to call and hear how sad she is and I’m so anxious when I have to go see her and have to listen to how miserable she is. I feel guilty that i just can’t make things better for her and suck it up.

She is dying and I’m making it about me ... does anyone who any words of wisdom????

Re: Emotional burnout

little_stitcher — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 06:54:42 GMT

I don't have any words of wisdom, just words of encouragement- this is so common it's almost par for the course. The feelings of guilt, helplessness, anger, frustration, fear and grief are very normal. The emotional toll of cancer on carers and family is huge, and I think that's only just starting to be recognised.

You deserve and need support to do this. Is there anyone not close to your Mum you can offload to? If not, this is a great place to vent (you'll probably even find other people whos mother's have cancer on here). The Cancer council will probably also have some resources you can access.

Your Mum's cancer is not ALL about you, but some of it is. love and hugs, Emily

Re: Emotional burnout

Timebandit84 — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 08:41:22 GMT

thanks, Emily your words have helped acknowledge my feelings and they are valid . Because my mum has been sick for so long its hard for others to understand the situation I just don't talk about it. but i will connect here wth other thank you 🙂