topic Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Sat, 29 Jun 2019 22:45:33 GMT

This past Monday my husband went in for a colonoscopy. At the consultation after the Dr told us that he had a very large polyp that he was not able to remove and that he would contact a surgeon to see the best way to remove it and in the mean time he took biopsies. Well two days later on Wednesday he got the news that it is cancer and he was immediatley referred to a surgeon, oncologist and sent for blood work and CT scan to see if it has spread.

This has been a very hard few days, my husband is thinking the worst because he has had alot of past medical issues and he hasn't barely eaten anything in the past 3 days, he feels so sick with his nerves and just keeps talking so negative, telling me he needs to sell all of his stuff so I'm not stuck dealing with it and keeps saying things like he doesn't want to live anymore because he's tired of all the stuff he has had to go through. He says that he doesn't want to suffer. I'm scared too and it's so hard to hear him say these things. I don't know what to do. He is 52 and we just had our 29th anniversary. Is all of this normal? We go in to the surgeon on Wednesday and just waiting for his day is horrible, I don't know if he can take it with his nerves being so bad. Thank you for listening.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 10:25:58 GMT

Hi Worriedwife,

I know this reply maybe a little bit delayed but how is everything currently going? Your husband's response is perfectly normal, he is understandable scared and worried about the future. Everyone responses differently.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 17:50:07 GMT

Thank you for responding. oing well. As far as the colon cancer, we are still waiting to see if it has spread, the waiting is horrible. The surgeon doesn't believe it has going by one of the scans they have done but we are waiting for yet another scan to be sure. However, he has been feeling extremely sick, nauseated and queezy, we do not know what that is about. He started feeling this way before his diagnosis but every time we go to the doctor they just keep telling him it's his nerves but we think it's from something else. So we are working on trying to figure this out. It's very frustrating and I feel awful for him since he feels nauseaus the majority of the day. thanks again for your response

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Sun, 14 Jul 2019 04:04:57 GMT

The nausea could be resulting from something else, especially if the surgeon seems doubtful that it has spread, judging by previous scans. In the meantime has the treating doctors recommend any treatments?

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Tue, 16 Jul 2019 22:40:33 GMT

We are starting to think that it is a result from something else, but everyone keeps saying it's his nerves and they just keep prescribing nausea medications.

As far as the cancer is concerned he goes in for surgery next week to have part of his colon removed, it is still unclear at this time if he will need chemo and radiation. The MRI he had yesterday (waiting for results) if it looks clear then we wont need to do any chemo or ratiation before surgery, when they do the surgery they will also remove the lymph nodes in that area and IF they come back with cancer then he will have chemo/radiation. So we are praying that it comes back good. In the mean time the nausea and queasiness is really bad and he is worried about going into the surgery already not feeling well. Its frustrating, I feel awful for him, his spirits are down and he is miserable.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 08:07:08 GMT

I'm sorry, this must be immensely frustrating and needing to wait, only adds onto the feeling. But it's good to see that your treating doctors already have treatment plans in place for whichever scenario, they have you covered.

Have you tried anything natural to temporary help relieve his nausea?

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 14:37:35 GMT

Yesterday we got the news from the MRI and it isn't what we were expecting. He is at stage 3, the cancer has spread to 3 of the lymph nodes. I am so heartbroken, he is devasted, he feels like he doesn't want to be here anymore, he doesn't want to go through chemo/radiation. My husband has endurered so many health issues and he fear chemo is going to ruin him. He also is so sure that it will come back later. This is a difficult journey. I've never asked you if you had cancer or someone you know?

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Fri, 19 Jul 2019 17:04:32 GMT

It's okay, we're here if you need us. We can talk about whatever you like, whenever.

Treatments can be scary and everyone reacts differently, depending on the type of chemo (chemical they use), dosage and etc. I believe radiotherapy is meant to be more precise in nature and generally has less side effects than chemo. Chemo washes over everything, to help destory or shrink lingering cells.

Did your husband and yourself speak to the treating doctors regarding what the treatments would involve such as possible side-effects? Sometimes deeper understanding can help.

Me? No, honestly I stumbled upon these forums by mistake. I originally came seeking for eulogy advice, needed to get the sentencing perfect as possible. I didn't have much luck so used an rephasing bot repeatedly instead.

I'll keep this belief, the topic is difficult. (But please remember, everyone's experience is different and is no indicator for future events by any degree).

It was for someone who was incredible amazing, devoted, generous...i'm simply unable to express how much i loved them. It was recent enough for me.

She had it for some years, it felt surreal.

Every time we had some form of small success, something else would go wrong. One step forward and 2 steps back. It was an rare cancer, it felt like we had to continuously push for hospitals to do treatments or even continued the current ones. If they refused, we moved but it was always worth it. We must of moved at least 3 times? Different doctors equal different possibilities, in our experience. Each treating hospital certainly didn't like the transfer request but we were more than happy to endure their displeasure.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Sat, 20 Jul 2019 15:35:27 GMT

I'm so sorry, thank you for sharing with me.

I have read that chemo affects everyone differently, we are just afraid because even right before the cancer diagnosis he already has been suffering from episodes of feeling really nauseated, it has gotten a lot worse since then, we can't figure out what is going on, so we are worried what that's going to do already feeling this way. Doctors just keep saying it's his nerves, which I thought at first as well, but this wakes him up from a dead sleep so I kind of think it's something else as well.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Sun, 21 Jul 2019 06:50:30 GMT

Your concern is absolutely understandable, nausea can easily disrupt all aspects to someone's life. By the sounds of things, the prescribed medication hasn't been efficient just yet. If you don't mind me asking, have the treating doctors done an full MRI or CT yet? Which includes an extensive scan of the head or stomach yet??

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Sun, 21 Jul 2019 15:04:55 GMT

Thank you for your concern. They have not done a complete MRI or head and I'm actually not sure if the last MRI they did of his Colon included the stomach. I believe his CT scan did. We did revisit the Gastrointerologist and he did an upper endoscopy on Friday. He said everything looked good, just a littel redness which can be caused by the excess acid production. He biopsied it, I think to see if it could be H pylori but he didn't seem to think it was.My husband is getting so discouraged and frustrated. He has so many fears with the cancer and I can't even begin to imagine how he feels. I can'tsay I blame him but it is difficult to hear some of the things he says. He has struggled with a lot of different medical issues and so it has been difficult for him.I appreciate you being here to kind of let me vent a bit.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 14:42:39 GMT

So many necessary medical tests are often performed and it's so easy to lose track of them all. If it helps, maybe keeping some form of diary lodgement would assist? You could write down: Dates of scans and which area they were for, types of medications that were prescribed but not ideal for current usage or when you last saw the doctor and the general outcome of the appointment? Such activities can give the feeling of more control and it's easier than trying to recall everything. You can review what has been done and advise the doctors what you think should be done as well.

If I may be so bold, perhaps your husband would benefit from seeking additional emotion support? Such as speaking to a guidance counsellor, local support groups or others who have been through something similar. There are many different forms of support available - anywhere from one-on-one to an large welcoming group setting. You can contact or e-mail the Cancer Council Group ph: 13 11 20 for recommendations.

Here is an link for added information:
https://cancerqld.org.au/get-support/cancer-emotional-support/cancer-counselling-service/

I can assure you any fear that your husband may have, will not be unique in any way and many thousands before him, would of thought something similar. There are no judgements on any level and sometimes it's just easier to speak with someone outside the immediate circle.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Mon, 22 Jul 2019 22:23:28 GMT

Thank you, that's a great idea, I am going to do that before I lose track and forget.

I have talked to him about talking with someone but he is opposed to the idea right now. I am getting fearful and anxious for his surgery on Wednesday, it helps me to talk about it but I have to refrain from looking up too much information right now, there seems to be many variables to this surgery. Hoping he recovers quickly, I think I'm more afraid for the chemo.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 14:11:38 GMT

That's good, at least he knows that the option is always available to him.

Fear is perfectly normal and expected. It's okay, your husband's surgery will go fine, the experienced surgeons would of done this treatment many times before within their careers and some procedures would of been even more difficult.

I know it's tempting but please be careful about performing searches, this will only encourage fear about possibilities that do not currently or will not apply to your present situation. Some of the information/sources can be outdated or inaccurate. Medical advice and treatments often go through changes.

The prospect of chemo is always scary. Take one step at an time, gather the information and understanding from the doctors and treat aspects as they come. I know it's easier said then done.

Please let me know how the successful treatment turns out??

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 17:41:31 GMT

Thank you, I did find readng information was causing a lot of anxiety within me, information I did not share with my husband. I have since stopped looking and just rely on what the doctor tells us. We went this mourning to lhear the different options of chemo, now he has to make a descion on which of the two he would like to go with. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Back burner for now. Tomorrow is his surgery, I will keep in touch. Thank you for being here for me during this difficult time.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 19:23:13 GMT

Husband had surgery Wednesday and came home on Friday. The surgery went well, they removed 18 in of his sigmoid colon. He is doing ok but still feeling quite queasy and nauseated and according to the surgeon he doesn't know why he would feel this way and thinks it has to do with the nausea he already had going into the surgery, so I am conflicted on that because some things say people do feel this way after but it's hard to know right now. He is very anxious though right now. He has some other medical issues going on as well and he is really stressed about these now too. He just can't catch a break. Upon the anxiety for other medical issues, recoverying from this and chemo soon, he is a wreck. I just keep looking up praying.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 05:47:09 GMT

I knew the surgery would go well and it’s even better that they removed all the unwanted tissue from the lower colon as well! It’s absolutely understandable and expected that he would experience some form of anxiety but maybe this heighten level of anxiety is elevating the nausea that he already has.

If he doesn’t feel quite ready to speak with a counselor then perhaps something to treat his tension levels might assist? Have the doctors recommend Ativan, xanax or anything similar? Under the tongue tablets dissolve fast and are quick acting, it may ease some of his worries to more manageable levels. If stress levels are brought down then it should be easier to see how much is emotional and how much is physical that is contributing to the nausea? The calming affect will assist nevertheless. Forgive me if the recommendation isn’t quite suitable for his current condition as I am unsure of his pre-existing conditions. (By the expression I’m receiving, it feels like the emotional level of things are aggravating existing issues, to deepen).

I know it's easier said than done but try to take things one at a time and consult with your doctors about any fears you may have. They will go through everything with you and will not give nor push anything that they feel that your husband cannot handle.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 16:08:21 GMT

Thank you. Yes my husband has other medical issues but all under control. It's the unknown that I think is causing him anxiety such as going into chemo, wondering if his brain tumor (or a different one) has come back, he has newish arm pain so I know he is very stressed and frustrated, he always tells me he's tired of living which is so hard for me to hear. We have gone to doctors including er about the nausea and no one has any idea except to say it has to be anxiety or acid reflux ( we already looked into that right before his surgery and that was good, had upper endoscopy). He has been give ativan, phenergan and zofran. PCP has now dropped this into his gastros lap again. I don't know if I quite believe its all due to anxiety because he literally wakes up from a dead sleep feeling very sick, nauseaus and queasy. No heart racing like with anxiety or anything just nauseous. The only other thing gastro has suggested is a motility test which he was suppose to go in for right before his surgery but he was too nauseated to do it and couldn't eat the recommended food. The Ativan seems to work the best, phenergan is pretty good and zofran takes edge off. It is so frustrating.

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

iloveyoudearly7 — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 22:19:16 GMT

Frustrating and discouraging is truly what it feels like most of the time. Its common, especially for long term patients to express tiredness for the situation they find themselves in. I've heard that same phrase myself more than a few times....it was always dishearting to hear as you want nothing more than to help them. Take things as they come, seek support for each other or family and stay strong. Ask the doctors as many questions as you desire and maybe consider seeking an second opinion, if that help assist?

Re: Husband just diagnosed with a cancerous polyp

worriedwife — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 20:28:19 GMT

Thank you I appreciate your encouragement. I'm sorry that you had to go through that yourself.