topic Re: What comes next? in Coping with a loved one's cancer

What comes next?

RealGirl — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 12:18:40 GMT

Lately I am feeling more and more distressed over the unknown. My mom has terminal colon cancer that has spread to pelvic lining. The last 3 years has had its ups and downs but she is doing ok. She has had colon surgery and many many rounds of chemo. She has only lost her hair in this last week and suddenly perspiring much more than normal. I have asked the doctor what kind of symptoms I can expect over next few months given that he has indicated that we will be lucky if we have 1 year, however he has been a bit evasive but I need real answers, it is becoming all consuming for me, the need to know. I feel that l can be better prepared and stronger for her if I know what's coming. Can anyone share the real symptoms in last year of life? All Google gives me is the final hours of death, which is not what I am after. Are there others who worry about This?

Re: What comes next?

Frostling — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 13:29:51 GMT

Not been in the situation so can't really share from experience. Hopefully someone gets back to you in regards to this but if not - perhaps check out the "grief and loss" area of these forums but BE EXTREMELY WARNED: That part of the forum IS extremely heartbreaking and devastating. Would only recommend as a last option.

I also was keen to learn more in regards to what to expect (and still wish too somewhat) but ended up crying over one person's post in that part of the forums and felt miserable for a large majority of the day. Haven't gone back since.

According to other research that I've done - there doesn't seem to actually be that much besides becoming withdrawn and a lack of appetite during the last month or so. This might also be why the doctor doesn't want to give you 'symptoms of what to expect'.

Wishing and hoping that you and your mother get to share many good times together for as long as possible.

Re: What comes next?

RealGirl — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 19:43:10 GMT

Thanks Frostling, your advice is very good, it could become very depressing if I just focussed on that side of things and maybe cause unnecessary anxieties, I will have a look at a few things per your suggestion and then try and focus on making these last few months count. Thanks again .

Re: What comes next?

Budgie — Fri, 17 Jan 2020 04:32:41 GMT

Hi RealGirl,

I can't understand why the doc hasn't given you an answer. You could ask her GP of what to expect at your mum's next appointment. They may be more forthcoming with answers than the oncologist.
Short of that, & Frostling's suggestion, I suppose it would be down to Dr Google to help guide you through. If you can research what happens to the body when a particular part/organ fails, you MAY be able to prepare, in some way, for what is to come.

But the big thing is, try not to let it consume you so much. Make sure you look after you!

Budgie

Re: What comes next?

RealGirl — Fri, 17 Jan 2020 11:02:46 GMT

Thanks Budgie, your search idea is great, I will continue on searching and will try GP. Thanks again