topic Mood changes in Coping with a loved one's cancer

Mood changes

Betty — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 22:14:28 GMT

Hi . My father (82) was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma 12 months ago. Since then he has been having weekly chemotherapy by medication and transfusions. Up until approx 3 months ago he had been coping ok and his levels have been slowly going down. However he has severe mood swings and seems very depressed now especially the day after he has his treatment which lasts for 2 - 3 days. The GP has prescribed antidepressants but he will not take them. My mother is a very patient lady and is finding this difficult to deal with as dad has always been a very gentle man, never angry or showed his emotions. I try to do as much as I can ( I live 3 hours away and work full time). I try to go and see them every 4 -6 weeks and stay a few days to give mum a break. I have tried talking to dad he knows he is like it but feels he cannot control it. My poor mother is at wits end. Can anyone give any advice on what else I can do.

Re: Mood changes

Budgie — Thu, 04 Mar 2021 00:26:16 GMT

Hi @Betty,
I'm sorry for your father's diagnosis. If your father isn't taking his antidepressants, which can take months to tweak to get the right dosage, the only other thing I can think of is to see if the oncologist can either reduce the dose of chemo or switch to a different drug. I don't know anything about Multiple Myeloma, or even if there's another chemo he could try, but there's no harm in asking.
Also, is he having any counselling? It would be a very good idea if he could speak with someone to help overcome his depression. There are a number of options for this; there are social workers available to him that his onc. can refer him to; he can speak with a member of the clergy; he can call Lifeline; or he can call the Cancer Council on 131120. Sometimes talking things thru is the best way forward.
I hope things improve for him. All the best,

Budgie

Re: Mood changes

Katekat — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 00:51:00 GMT

Morning @Betty,

I hope you are well this morning ❤️

You may like to have give our Peer Support team at Cancer Council a call, and have a chat to them about our on 1300 755 632.

We have a telephone based support group, specifically for people who are caring for a loved one with cancer, and I think either this or perhaps something like counselling, might be a good option for your Mum at this time.

-Kate

Cancer Council Online Community Manager