https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7856#M838 Hi Kymmaree, I lost my mum when I was a 23 to breast cancer (1994), and struggled for many dark years without professional emotional support, I began to drink to cope with the pain, which just numbed the inevitable. Without any parents to guide me, I finally accepted that I needed grief counselling, some 8 years later to help me untangle the frozen grief and loss I was encapsulated within. I found an amazing qualified counsellor to talk to, hear all my pain, listen fully and hold the emotional space so I could break down and release my emotional suffering. This was my healing and turning point toward acceptance of her death without feeling guilty that I was abandoning her by wanting to stop hurting because she died. Kate. Mon, 01 Oct 2012 05:59:56 GMT Kate_McTavish 2012-10-01T05:59:56Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7853#M835 hi, found the link to this site, and thought id come over. reading through posts its sad, but i so feel a bit better to know im not alone. lost my mum aged 65 back in june, after 4 months of stomach cancer. im normally a mummys girl. so this years been hard. had my first grandchild born, lost my grandmother, as well as 9 other friends. all since mum has passed. i miss our christmas traditions, ive tried starting up my own for my 4 children. but i still feel so numb. weve had christmas eve at my mums since i was born, putting up tree (during our chrissy pagent) which then went to the grandkids.. when i got older. my partner also lost his dad back about 20 years ago, through cancer, so i know he understands how i feel, but i feel so guilty all the time being so emotional.. anyway so much for me just posting a hello.. spending the day with my grandaughter today. so just wanted to touch base. and say hello. Wed, 21 Dec 2011 23:15:11 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7853#M835 kymmaree 2011-12-21T23:15:11Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7854#M836 Kymmaree My mate and his daughters are facing there first xmas without there mum and wife,we were diagnosed at the same time,she was a dear friend and they will be going through similar to you ,I cant imagine what you all are going through but best wishes to you all kj Fri, 23 Dec 2011 04:45:41 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7854#M836 kj 2011-12-23T04:45:41Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7855#M837 hi kymmaree i lost my dad last year and can totally relate (after he had fought for 7 years against various forms of cancer) whilst we were blessed with so much more time than we expected, i'm still feeling at a loss as to how best to move forward. i have two boys who loved him so dearly, my oldest gets very upset and sad from time to time. the milestones are the hardest - birthdays, christmas, fathers day... yet we have a few little traditions we try to keep, mainly for my boys. whilst its only been a year, some days are getting easier... some not. try not to feel guilty for the emotions, there really is no right or wrong way to manage grief. sending you lots of kind thoughts. p Mon, 01 Oct 2012 01:13:20 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7855#M837 pmcpmc 2012-10-01T01:13:20Z https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7856#M838 Hi Kymmaree, I lost my mum when I was a 23 to breast cancer (1994), and struggled for many dark years without professional emotional support, I began to drink to cope with the pain, which just numbed the inevitable. Without any parents to guide me, I finally accepted that I needed grief counselling, some 8 years later to help me untangle the frozen grief and loss I was encapsulated within. I found an amazing qualified counsellor to talk to, hear all my pain, listen fully and hold the emotional space so I could break down and release my emotional suffering. This was my healing and turning point toward acceptance of her death without feeling guilty that I was abandoning her by wanting to stop hurting because she died. Kate. Mon, 01 Oct 2012 05:59:56 GMT https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/hi-new-here-lost-mum-back-in-june/m-p/7856#M838 Kate_McTavish 2012-10-01T05:59:56Z