topic My thought of the day in Facing end of life

My thought of the day

JohnDenning59 — Mon, 08 Nov 2021 12:33:40 GMT

My regrets in life are many, as I look back, but all of them could so easily have been avoided had I been of a different mindset at the time.

Sadly, it has taken doing battle with advanced pancreatic cancer, to realise that had I just learned to say 'no' occasionally, many of my life's regrets would never have happened.

Little things, like, 'hey, do you want to go to a party and get plastered?'. Instead of saying 'no, I'll give that a miss. I might just stay here on my own and have an early night,' I so often succumbed, not to temptation, but to a sort of expected level of conformity among friends, and went anyway, only to wake up the next morning having regretted doing so.

But, I also wish that I'd said 'yes', on occasions, too. Not to others, but to myself. In my young, single days, I often thought about going bush alone for a week or even a month. Pitching a tent in some scrub near a remote beach, living off of provisions, as well as catching and cooking fish over an open fire. All alone. Just me, relaxing, and embracing solitude. I never did that, despite a strong urge to do so. I never said yes, to myself.

Anyway, that was my thought of the day, and I hope you are all doing well.

PS: As for this cancer. I'm winning. Yes, I'm fucking beating this thing, and I will, completely. Five chemo sessions in, and it is one third of its original size. It's still wrapped around two main arteries, so it's not over yet by a long-shot. But one thing is certain, it's in panic mode.

Re: My thought of the day

Wegotthis — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 14:22:28 GMT

John great topic...

When I was much younger I lived to become a marine. I was going to in list right out of high school. I became a dad during my junior year. I quit school to work.

I use beat myself up over it.

One day for some reason I realized that I had made many mistakes with our kids that I never really felt that I owed.

I made sure that they had the opportunity to be completely open and honest with me way before my cancer...

My kids are way better parents than I was.

Thankfully I did do somethings right.

Today is all I have control over. Tomorrow is something I plan for. Yesterday was a day I lived through.

Everyday I live i want my family to see that I handle my business like a strong leader and head of our family...No regrets

Re: My thought of the day

JohnDenning59 — Sun, 14 Nov 2021 04:17:50 GMT

That's great to hear, wegotthis, and I'm sure your kids are proud of you. Communication with our kids is more important than some people realise. I don't ever remember having a full-on conversation with either of my parents, especially with my dad, and now that he's long gone, of course it will never happen.

I love the conversations I have with my grown up kids who are now in their thirties. We're more like mates, and we speak in a contemporary language, which includes using any type of words. They even tell me to F off occasionally, in jest, of course, and I love that type of openness, just as they know that they can be completely open about anything with me, and nothing is taboo.

Again, congrats on your relationship with your kids. Later in life, they'll all remember it.