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Afraid

Richard1 — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 21:18:57 GMT

This journey has destroyed my confidence. I’m scared all the time, lost, uncertain and afraid. I wake up stressed and it continues through out the day. Everyday tasks make me want to break down and cry. I don’t know what’s happened to me. I just want it to be over, I want to be over… If this is life then whats the point.

Re: Afraid

Richard1 — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 05:01:02 GMT

No joy, no happiness, no anything. Nothing makes me happy, just never ending physical and mental pain. My head hurts and I want to sleep. I try to sleep but the stress keeps me awake. Is there an end to this? Please stop this pain, please please please please please. This world has broken me and I don’t think I can be unbroken. Talking to others is all good, facing your fears is all good, but it doesn’t help. I live in my head 24/7 and I hate it. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate bills, I hate everything. Please fix me…

Re: Afraid

Susana_CCNSW — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 05:11:43 GMT

Hi Richard1,

This is a very scary and unwanted journey, and I am glad you have decided to reach out to share in this community how you are feeling.

I wish I had the right words to aay that could give you some emotional comfort, but what I can say is that Cancer Council is here to listen and to provide this safe space for you to connect with others. in a similar situation.

I hope members in this community can share their experience with you or just provide a word of support.

Richard if you would like to talk to someone or find out if there are any services suitable for you, please call our information and support line on 131120, they are available Monday to Friday 9-5.

Please stay strong

Susana

Cancer Council

Online Community

Re: Afraid

LindaG — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 11:44:22 GMT

Hi Richard, so sad to read your post and all the emotions you are experiencing. You may have depression and anxiety that can go with everything else that comes with cancer. Maybe you can speak to your GP or someone at cancer support. It’s good to be honest about your feelings and to ask for help. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day for you 🙏♥️. Linda

Re: Afraid

Richard1 — Sun, 17 Aug 2025 21:15:26 GMT

I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety before and got through it. This time it feels worse, I don’t want to go on meds again so I’m fighting through it solo. I just feel dead inside and then super anxious all day long. I’m not suicidal but death seems like a blessing. As I get older life gets harder, bills, work, house maintenance, car maintenance, doctors appointments, looking after dog, watching parents get older. Once a month I have rush my mum to the hospital in middle of the night. Having to struggle with external life problems and fight internal health problems is tough, almost impossible.

I don’t know what to do…

Re: Afraid

Felicity_CCNSW — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 02:04:35 GMT

Hi @Richard1

It Felicity from the Counselling and Peer Support Team at Cancer Council NSW.

I notice a level of distress in what you have shared in your message. I have sent you a personal message as well.

I wanted to check in around the supports you have in place and whether you have considered talking to them about what you're feeling right now. Is there a friend or family that you could speak to about how are feeling? Perhaps you could speak with your GP?

You can also call Lifeline 24 hours, 7 days a week on 13 11 14. There is always someone helpful on the other end of the phone that can speak to you about how you are feeling. You can also send a text message to them on 0477 13 11 14. Or chat via their website here.

You can also always call Cancer Council on 13 11 20. We are open 9am-5pm Monday to Friday. Please leave a voicemail if you are unable to immediately speak with a health professional. And a health professional will call you ASAP.

Take care,

Felicity

Cancer Council Online Moderator

Re: Afraid

Richard1 — Sun, 24 Aug 2025 20:48:16 GMT

So todays the day I have a scan and see if it’s all clear. Very nervous and anxious to get it over and done with. Later this year I have another colonoscopy, nov or dec, doc has not set a date yet. Again, very nervous. My mind won’t stop thinking the worst. It’s so mentally and physically draining, yet I still somehow keep going. I just want to sleep and dream the days away. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Please god let it all be okay. I don’t think I have the strength to go through this again.

Re: Afraid

Felicity_CCNSW — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 06:32:47 GMT

Hi @Richard1

It is a very stressful experience to have your scan and wait for results. What you describe as the constant worrying thoughts is a very challenging experience to navigate. The Cancer Council has a booklet you may find helpful on Emotions and Cancer.

There are some useful coping tools outlined in the booklet you may find helpful.

Perhaps others in the community could share how they managed the anxious time waiting for scan results?

Felicity

Online Community Moderator

Re: Afraid

LindaG — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 09:17:16 GMT

Hi David, did you get the results of your scan? Hope it went well for you 🙏♥️ Linda

Re: Afraid

Richard1 — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 20:48:43 GMT

Still waiting. I want to know and don’t want to know the results at the same time. Tick tick tick, this year has been one long difficult wait. It’s all in gods hands now. As I walk down the valley of shadow of death I shall fear no evil.

Re: Afraid

LindaG — Wed, 27 Aug 2025 08:11:17 GMT

Hi Richard, I was always using psalm 23 during my treatment and now dealing with life’s challenges. Hope it gives you some comfort at this time. 🙏♥️ Linda