The first time it happened,
Filled with fear and dread,
Not hearing yet listening
To the words as they explained.
Yes its a tumor, malignant and you struggle
Your mind a whirl
Emotions ever changing
The stress and agony closing down your brain.
Supporters all saying
You will be fine
I know how you feel.
I want to scream, you don't know, you have no idea
How do you know it will be fine
It's growing inside me.
They remove it, got it all they say
But it returns 5 fold, coursing through your veins
It spreads, it widens
Under the knife once again.
Be strong, be positive
I know how you feel
We got it all
Is this for real
Then before you know it
Once more the same.
Twice as many as last time
I weep for my sanity
I try to be strong
Support my supporters, keep them strong.
Return to work
Face those who don't know
How could they
Have they felt it
Have they gone through the show
I don't wish it on anyone.
Can but hope that its gone this time
Don't think that I can face it
It's too draining
It eats away at your body
Thank you for kind words, I had a 3rd recurrence last year and a fourth round of surgery in December , recovery becomes slower each time naturally, back to work but not to playing hockey.
My intent of this piece was to clear my mind and acknowledge the support of not only family and friends but indeed virtual strangers while at the same time letting people know that it is sadly my journey (hopefully that makes sense).
The support of others is treasured but at times misguided and overbearing, at least that is how I sometimes feel, and I always try to stay positive, not just for them but for myself as well.
sorry I am rambling I think.
God bless and keep positive and well.
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