Regular Visitor

I hold the gift in my hand…it is warm to the touch…..it is beautiful in its simplicity……he helps me tie it around my neck….he is nervous with all that he wants to say………but he is silent...the words kept within

                               the gift is enough….

Pounamu…… ……the jade can only be given as a gift …he has chosen the design….”it seemed to be the right time…the right design…” my son-in-law said.

My fingers trace the shape …a spiral…..life endings and life beginnings …the gentle unfurling of the fern frond……continuous ….unbroken…..I can trace the journey into the centre as I hold it between my fingers …and outwards again…..my own personal labyrinth…my own personal journey to find  God within……and strength to walk in the world.

My hands seem constantly drawn towards it …to hold and trace a journey…….I didn’t think my life would come to this……but it has…and I find my myself holding my husband with nervous hands ……..full of things I want to say …but somehow the words get stuck …and I am silent

                                                and I trace the journey.

I wear the spiral always ...... holding the spiral  when I walk….as I sleep and when I wake up, my fingers are curled around it….it has a strength of its own…that I draw from…….

I am reminded of the other gifts that have been given freely ….coffee…..a shoulder…..a hug and kind word……time ……connections …….laughter

I am being held in a gentle way ……the spirit manifests in unusual yet ordinary ways……..for we are ordinary people.

We start the clinical trials soon….another level of treatment……more complex….time away…disruptions; holidays and plans are phantoms in the fog that seems to descend…….

And I hold the precious Pounamu spiral from my son in law in one hand and I hold my husband in the other…..and I am grateful for those who bring gifts of light and warmth.