I'm so sorry, what happened sounds absolutely awful.  I'm glad you found this forum.  I haven't really got anything to add, but I just wanted to send you some big hugs.  Stay connected. love Emily ... View more

Hi Andrea, I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.  However, don't worry too much about 'staying strong' in front of your Mum.  It's ok to express worry and concern- it's a worrying situation, and to be calm and composed all the time is probably not possible, unless you don't understand what's going on.  You can still be a great support to your Mum while worried or upset (I used to joke that I was my husband's 'tearstained rock').  The worst thing you can do is to worry about being worried! Good luck with everything, and remember to trust yourself- you are obviously doing the best you can (and I can see that from only a couple of messages).   Sending love and hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Rachael, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  I was lucky enough to be able to keep working when my husband was going through chemo, but the thought of having to give up my job if he got really sick was there, and it was very scary.  Is there an option for you to go part time for a while, to make the change gradually?  Or could you talk to your boss or HR department about taking an extended leave of absence, so you don't loose touch completely? (You could always reassess later). Also, it may be that you would be eligible for a carer's allowance and other government assistance programs (home help etc.) if you did resign to become a full time carer- your husband's GP or the Cancer Council will know more about that. Unfortunately only you can make the right decision, but know you have a community here to support you in whatever you choose.  Sending lots of huge hugs just for you.  Emily   ... View more

You have three children AND you're caring for your Mum!?  Wow, that's massive!  I found it hard enough with no kids!    Something else that might help as well is asking your Mum's GP, your GP or someone at the Cancer Council about government assistance programs you may be eligilble for- help around the house, taxi vouchers, help getting the groceries etc.  Also, can I encourage you to accept whatever help is offered by family or friends.  Often people do want to help, but don't know what to do- if you can give them a specific task they could do for you and your family they will probably be glad to know they could actually be helpful to you.      Just by the way, one of my methods of taking a bit of time out was to have a bubble bath on a Saturday morning- it was a great sanity saver, and a habit I've still kept up.  If you can carve out a bit of time to spoil yourself each week, even if it's just a 20 minute coffee break at a cafe, it will really recharge your batteries. Given that you have so many people to look after, you may need to make it a set time each week, to make sure it actually happens.    Sending big hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Andrea, I'm glad you found this forum, it's a great place to connect with people who have been in similar situations.  My husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2011, and one of the things I've learned is that cancer effects everyone differently- there are no right or wrong ways to respond (for your Mum or you).  The other thing I've learned is that everyone wants a timeline, and no one if able or willing to give one!   That uncertainty is really hard to adjust to, but unfortunately there is no way around that.     The only other piece of advice I will give you, especially with that last comment in mind, is to make sure you are taking care of yourself, as well.  Hopefully your road ahead will be a lot longer than you anticipate, and you've got to make sure you're in good condition to support your Mum for the long haul. Sending lots of hugs, Emily ... View more

I'm so sorry.  Keep in touch, and don't forget to be gentle with yourself.  Lots of big hugs, Emily ... View more

I have no words, but a huge hug. xxx love Emily ... View more

I'm so sorry my dear Reeree.  We're all here for you, now more than ever.  Use evey resource available to you.  Sending huge hugs, Emily. xx ... View more

Hi ReeRee, I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you, but I just wanted to offer a supportive hello.  My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2011, and I'm still benefiting from this forum.   You may also benefit from using the "I have cancer" aspect of the forum as well- you certainly deserve support for both issues.  I'm glad you found this forum, it's a great place to ask/vent/encourage with people who really understand.  Big hugs to you and your brother, love from Emily ... View more

Hi CB, it's great that your Mum is talking about how she's feeling.  Don't worry to much about getting upset in front of her- it shows that you care, and doesn't mean you're weak (I used to joke that I was my husband's soggy rock : ) As long as you can still listen to her, let the tears flow if you need to.  Please keep us all updated about how you and your Mum are going.   love and hugs, Emily     ... View more