Hi Sch   I could hear them rolling from here. Nearly as loud as my wife's eye.   Chemo toxicity is too much for my frail little body. I can't absorb water despite hydrolites and can't seem to drink enough to counter. It's all going to hell in a stoma bag.   My Capecitabine has been put on hold tonight. It may be aborted again this cycle too. Waiting to see how I go. Hopefully just one night's stay.   Ho hum. Wearing as I need to. Just need to remember I live a strange normal these days.   Ciao   ... View more

Hi Budgie   Yep. In overnight. Sleep isn't important. I get up at regular times because of my stoma. I'm the rowdy one in this joint.   I'd like to bring the princess and the pumpkin in with me but I'm toxic and can't touch them anyway.   I'm the meantime, chemo is suspended. Not sure if it will restart this cycle.   Ho hum. Not feeling like a soldier at the moment. Just a pin cushion. Just another day in the big house.   Thanks for reaching out. I hope you are feeling well.   Ciao   🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀     ... View more

And here I am.  Back in the hospital. Mr pin cushion. Stab me. Bleed me. Fill me with fluid. Nice way to ruin a beautiful day.   Chemo sucks balls. ... View more

Hi Ginger   I'm jealous of your garden already. I was looking to buy a plot for planting the vines and trees I've been growing, but... you know... bloody cancer. Undoes dreams and plans.   I'll put some effort into chorus. I tend to shy away from needless repetition in a song and keep it interesting in other ways. Trying to break the pattern of normal radio type songs that have cursed us so many years. I started listening to some old brass blues and jazz when we went to Norfolk Island last you. It really inspired me so I started focussing on a folk style of writing instead. I know... brass blue inspired folk. Right!!!   I'm sure I can manage cheese. I wrote a song I affectionately call the cabbage song. Long story. And my daughter was discussing guitar chords when she described "a regular C" as opposed to a bar chord C. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about but I liked the sound of a regular C so I wrote a song about that too.    But my day is starting to dive. I've just called the after hours Oncology support. I may be back to hospital today or tomorrow. Waiting for a call back. Isn't it the way? Start off great and fall into a heap. At least I'm on top of it early this time.   Chemo sucks balls.      ... View more

Hi Ginger Rogers   Did you find your dance moves? Are you kicking out some nasty feelings?   I've been inspired to write a song and you're in it. I can't pick up my guitar at the moment though. I was thinking about my journey so far and the influence and support I've had from this community, especially this thread, which is breaking the record I may add.   But anyhoo... I was thinking of some verses and it's had to include you. Don't worry. It's not referencing lunatics. I'll see what I can do with a line about cheese.  🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀   Take care. I hope your son is doing better.   Ciao     ... View more

Hi Vanessa   Charlie is our rescue dog.     Mostly albino Kelpie with a pitch of blue dog. Don't ya just love that bent ear.   Like me as a chemo patient, he is sensitive to light too.    When my immune system is down I have to be careful of infection. And because I am cyto toxic from chemo, I don't want them licking my sweat or anything like that. My Cavaliers are old and I don't want to make them sick. I wear latex gloves and put gardening gloves on over top if I'm in the garden or touching anything likely to be high with bacteria. And guess what! The dogs love a scratch with the gloves on. And because it's rare when it happens, they really indulge. It gets so sad when they sit at my feet and look up at me with those big brown eyes. It won't be long. Another 5 weeks and I can touch them again.   Ciao   ... View more

Hi Bianca   I'm happy to catch up. What day does  your chemo cycle start? I'm on the improve following my cycle starting last week, although I'm in my peak of fatigue and low immunity right now. Perhaps before the anxious start of your next cycle and when I feel confident to drive again. I'm living at Googong but I have a lot of flexibility this week to go anywhere around Canberra. And I should probably take advantage of it this week with the fine weather predicted.   🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞   I'd love to see your pseudo dog (cat) photos. Since you don't have dogs. But you must follow the pattern. A photo of Theo with Bonnie's feet in the background.    I'll show you my Bonnie now. This time a smiling face. She is a butt head. But isn't she gorgeous. No one should have husky puppies. Rescue them after they turn 2. Trust me.   I was just posting a response to Lampwork, pointing out that I've started to find the rhythm which I can't put myself into before chemo starts. My pattern unfortunately is anxiety and depression before chemo starts. It's like being asked to drink petrol. You know it's not good for you. How stupid though, it can save our lives. Meditation does help. And I play a lot of music before chemo cycle starts because my singing voice comes back (mostly) and the strings don't hurt my fingers. Unfortunately I can't pick my guitar up at the moment. Cold strings sting my finger tips. Seems so stupid. Towards the end of this week they should be feeling okay. I don't think I'll be able to sing properly again until November when the chemo has stopped.   I hope you are feeling better being at the end of your cycle. Hang in there. Chemo is tough but it brings results. It should be a lovely day in Canberra today. Remember to avoid too much sunshine. Chemo makes us light sensitive.  Like vampires I guess. 🧛‍   Ciao ... View more

Howdy Lampwork   Well done. Feeling better and generating normal fatigue. Hopefully that helps you sleep well too. Hopefully you'll be doing some Lampwork soon.   💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸 I love the sound of your garden. I have a pink and a white clematis. I harvested seeds from them and planted a few weeks ago. They don't seem to be growing unfortunately.  I also tried a bunch of raspberry seeds but got nothing. I'm going to put my pumpkins, squash,  cucumber and corn in the garden next week when I'm feeling strong enough. They are going nuts in the greenhouse. I'll leave the tomatoes in pots until November. Melbourne cup day is tomato planting day in Canberra.    All my cuttings from grape vines, black berry, Apple and pear trees are going well this season from new cuttings. I have a lot of apricot root stock from last season I want to mature this season. Next year I'll collect a variety of plum, peache, nectarine and apricot cuttings and graft them on. I have a lot of good bases with 2 and 3 branches so I can graft something different on each branch.   I can't do much in my garden this week but I'm enjoying watching it spring to life. Between cycles, I cleaned out my hydroponics because nothing grew. I started in again and now my cos, icebergs and rocket are starting to emerge. I started on leafy plants as an experiment, but it's funny because the lettuce in the garden bed went to seed and sprouted babies all over the backyard. We did a mass cleanup and transferred them to the garden bed. I can't wait til I can eat lettuce again. I miss salads.   It's sad your mother lost her sight. My mum has Alzheimer's. Cancer is probably kinder. I'm glad that neither of my parent's can know about my cancer. It's a pain they didn't need to know. Still, my goal is to outlive them both and not let this hideous disease beat me. I have 27 years to beat Dad. I don't think Mum will push it up. But then I set a new goal. I wan't to live to 82. The year 2054. 100 years since Elvis started pumping out rock 'n' roll. I'll be playing this song to the great grand kids. I hope my fingers can still work the strings. 🗣🎙🎵🎶🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵 🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸   It's good to have a goal. 😁   I'm so glad your mending and feeling better. You've inspired me. I'm finding my rhythm. It's a pitty I never can before the chemo cycle starts.   Cheers   Phil           ... View more

Hi Bianca   I thought I was young for this stuff. I'm 47, I'm also in Canberra and wouldn't you know it, stage 3 bowel cancer. We have some other similarities. I hate taking drugs in general, so chemotherapy was a real challenge.   I'm on cycle 3 now, Oxaliplatin and Capecitabine. Three week cycles. Diagnosis in June. Surgery in July. Chemo started in August. I know you don't want to hear horror stories, but the reality is that everyone's journey is different. One person's horror story may not be yours so you can stress less.   My catch phase - chemo sucks balls. But so did surgery. So did finding out about cancer. What it comes down to is knowing that at 47, I could let go, but I couldn't let down the people who need me. I have a new outlook on life and I feel so detached from the person I was. The people who need me have been here for me and it helps to deal with my horrors.    What I find really amazing is this forum. It has helped me to open up and talk about things I'd normally bottle up. Like yourself, I've not found a support group for bowel cancer in Canberra, but I find this site to be an excellent substitute. These days I don't feel like I'm gaining as much as I used to but I've become hooked on giving back. And I've established some friendships on the forum which has been rewarding. I encourage you to stay on the forum and keep telling your story.   Anyhoo... I suffer anxiety before every chemo cycle and it's a tough gig. Meditation helps, thinking positive helps, but it still fails me every time. Yet I still turn up and go through it. Each cycle has been different and I can't wait for it to be over. Keep each one as a milestone and count them down. Every side effect is a notch in your armour. I know I'm going through it for the right reasons.   I have one more thing to add. Dogs help cure cancer. If you have a dog, post a photo. This is my Charlie. And those are Bonnie's feet behind him.   Hang in there. Reach out if you need to.   Cheers   Phil ... View more

Hi Albundy    An interesting study. I'm on cycle 3 now. After an extended rest between cycle 2 and 3, I could tollerate cooled water and even a Sunday from Hungry Jacks. But usually I have go a single swallow at a time and rest. I warm the water in my mouth and slow down when it hurts. My cycle 3 has just started and it's the worst so far. I only have 1 more cycle to go so I hope it all goes away before summer comes back.   How many more cycles do you have on the radar?   Cheers   Phil   ... View more