Coming to terms with my vulnerability
It's such a odd feeling to go to a check up (nothing was wrong, just went because i thought i am supposed to go) and 1,2,3 dermatologist ogles a mole ( I've never seen it before, wasn’t aware it was there) says it needs to be looked at under microscope and one minute later i got a needle and a scalpel in my back!
I always thought i know my body well, i would "know" if something is wrong, now this experience completely throws my train of thoughts off the tracks. I didn’t feel anything was wrong, didt expect that Doc will find anything wrong with me and he DID!
Some of you may chuckle now: but I really thought when he said" microscope" he will just get a big one out and has a look at the mole, I didn’t realise that he was about to cut it out!! I feel a bit stupid.
Now I am awaiting results. Hoping, praying all is good, or at least not too bad!
My friends are all great but they are of no help to deal with this problem, With Cancer, yes i said it!!! CANCER!
I got more attention if I would have broken my leg! It's really weird, it's like people try to avoid that subject, as if it is contagious! I don’t want pity I just want to talk about what's going on right now and this " think positive" and " playing things down" makes me feel I am the biggest whoos on the planet.
Anyway I am glad having found this group and I am looking forward to supporting each other. It is so lovely having people out there listening to you.
Take care
Love Sunny
