One year on from Mum's passing today. Intense grief is still locked in memories, particularly of those last days. Can even an expected death create trauma? Revisiting the memories unleashes the same intense emotions I felt on the day of her passing.
How do I access and find strength and love in the 43 wonderful years of loving relationship before her illness?
I feel like my choices are- don't think about her at all, or, think about her and feel incredibly angry and sad. I function competely normally not thinking about her and just focusing on my Dad's adjustment. My grief in losing Mum is compromised by the relief I felt that her suffering was over. I feel like I am still in grief over the cancer process and can't properly grieve the loss of my Mum.
Does this make any sense?
