Gypsy, I am so sorry you lost your husband, Les. After only a month, I am not surprised at how you feel. When my first husband died aged 49 in '93 (from a heart attack) I went through the physical actions of coping but was off the planet emotionally and mentally as I felt I had lost half of myself. Two years down the track I finally got some grief counselling at the local hospital. Even now 19 years later I can still have a little weep at times. He was a wonderful man and deserves every tear that fell for him. Feel what you feel, cry when you must, talk it out to whom you can, maybe gather photos or keepsakes and make a collage or album or something special. Slowly and gently over time things will change and you will feel whole again and stronger. Do an on-line search 'coping with grief and loss' and find some information that is sure to help. Warm hugs of comfort, Pamela (((hugs))) ... View more

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t any more, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.” I lost a few people, but reconciled with some estranged family members, so am very blessed. "Many people will walk in and out of you life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." ... View more

If the depression is mild, it may be enough to get out into the sunshine daily and bare some skin to manufacture your own Vitamin D or use light therapy on overcast days, similar to treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). ... View more

I suppose doctors must make a judgement call, but in my case it was - you will feel/get better in 3/6/9 months. Now at least I have finally been told I MAY be a little better in a couple of years but most of my problems will remain. I answered 'OK, I can live with that!' If things do improve - wonderful! If not, I won't have wasted any mental/emotional/physical effort waiting and hoping for something that may never happen. Just taking about this with people who understand but are not emotionally attached to me, is doing me the world of good ;-) Thanks & (((hugs))) ... View more

Hello mg Wow, what can I say! Your story is my story. Every time one of my doctors told me something new I would say 'why didn't you tell me this before?' I am the type of person who wants to know it all upfront. False expectations are a waste of time; very draining and frustrating. I would rather know the worst and if it's not that bad - great! I also wish the professionals would get together and exchange notes. My wrist was unmoving in a splint for 6 weeks. When it was taken off I could hardly move it, had no grip and much pain. After a few months of telling the doc's I was finally referred to a hand clinic where the physio said I should have been sent to them immediately the splint was off to stop the graft adhering to the tendons. But now the physio tells me exercise will separate the graft from the tendons, which to be seems to be totally illogical as well as impossible, not to mention mind-bogglingly painful, not only at the time of exercising but with on-going severity afterwards. I am thankful to be alive and don't regret the choice I made to have the treatment I have had, but I wish the follow-up had been different. I realise, too, while typing this that I have some anger about the situation that I have not been aware of, but now I can deal with it. When things need to be done and I am just too exhausted to even start, I tend to feel guilty at my 'laziness' - something else I need to deal with. In the middle of all this, I am very happy with much of my life and relationships and with wonderful, exciting plans for our future. I do appreciate your comments to me, mg. I have only been on this site a few days and am finding it very valuable. And you are so right - One Day At A Time! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOsAEibcqJo ... View more

Hi Silly I am grateful to you both for taking the time to reply. Kind regards, Pamela 😉 ... View more

Hi Sailor Thank you for that information. I will check out further pain control options. I thought this was just something I was going to have to learn to live with. I certainly don't want to end up with chronic neuropathic pain as I have seen my 90 year old Mum cope with Post Herpetic Neuralgia for 12 years and I don't relish going down that path. I am being careful with my teeth, cleaning after meals, rinsing after snacks, on doctor/dentist recommendation using ProRelief toothpaste, Listerine Smart Rinse (more flouride, no alcohol) and having 6 monthly topical flouride. Teeth damage is from radiotherapy as well as non-normal saliva. I am using Hamilton Aquae Dry Mouth Spray but will check out the Biotine products as well. Kind regards, Pamela ;-) We have an anchor that keeps the soul Steadfast and sure while the billows roll, Fastened to the Rock which cannot move, Grounded firm and deep in the Saviour's love. ... View more

Hi Silly (not so silly; quite wise in fact ;-)) Thank you for your reply. I am on Panadol/Panadol Osteo/Panadol Forte at various times of day or night. The Forte lets me sleep well, which is a blessing. I have artificial saliva for dry mouth but it only helps for a short while. I have even stuck my mouth with tape at night but the air leaks in and my mouth and tongue end up like a piece of biltong until re-hydrated - first with warm water then the saliva replacement. I am 63 hoping to reach 100, so am not keen to take too much medication if at all possible. I often use a foot massager that acts like acupressure and totally numbs me out while using it, so I do get small bursts of relief. Good blessings for you, too. 🙂 ... View more

Hi Dazza My thoughts are that your dear wife is fully aware of her situation. Although this may be her way of coping with it herself, I suggest that she may be doing this to help those who love and care about her, some of whom may know the truth, some maybe not. She may well be stating the truth: that if by some miracle she did improve, that doctors would operate. She would also be fully aware that without improvement, there will be no further surgery. It is important that you somehow find a way to have some time for yourself. Can family or friends help out to give you a day (or half a day) to do some favourite pastime? I do wish you inner strength and a sense of peace beyond the craziness that cancer causes. Enjoy daily moments and try not to let frustration and fear of the future take these away from you both. ... View more