Been a while...

[Versaillon]

I haven't been around much lately. Perhaps because I feel I don't deserve to be. Things are going very well for Rob and I, I would feel like a right cow going on about how things are going while people here struggle with old and new battles. We've had a couple of things come up that we've been able to deal with. Rob's CT, colonoscopy and blood test came back all clear for cancer!! YAY!!! We are in remission! But, the CT showed that Rob has an enlarged pituitary gland, enough that it concerned his oncology team. An enlarged pituitary gland can happen due to a range of things - stress, hormone imbalances and of course, cancer. A tumour could be growing. 😕 Rob needs to get an MRI done to see if we can find out what is going on. Both of us have put it down to stress. Denial? Dunno, but I figure we will just see what happens when it happens. Rob has started to see a dietician due to his weight gain (I thought people lost weight during chemo lol) during chemo and she has given him a list of foods he can't eat due to the portion of his colon that was removed. I completely forgot that the colon absorbs so many nutrients so it was no surprise when she told Rob to take Vitamin B, D and calcium supplements. Rob is devastated - he's Italian and he's not allowed to eat any deli meats and limited servings of pasta. As far as he's concerned, life has ended LOL. So far though, he's lost around 6kgs in 2 weeks. If only I could do that! We're being much healthier now, excerise and food wise and finding we feel much better for it. I lost some weight while trying to buy our block of land (did the same in the lead up to our wedding) - so much stress, I lost 3kgs in a week! Think I may have put it back on but have since lost 2kgs again over the past few weeks eating healthy. We've decided to have a healthier lifestyle to prevent the cancer coming back - some onc doctor told Rob that due to him being so young, he has a high chance of the cancer returning. Yeah, thanks for that. Like I don't think about it EVERY SINGLE DAY! Rob's been catching every bug going around lately due to compromised immune system - he's had more antibiotics than I've had hot dinners lately and I've managed to catch a couple of the bugs so we've both been sick and run down. Not overly happy about any of this but what do you do. I'm still so tired from our last battle. Am E.X.H.A.U.S.T.E.D. with a capital E. I'm finding it particularly hard to stop, just keep going with all that needs to be done and I think I may be burning out a little. Is perfectly understandable given the 12 months we've just had - losing Rob's grandfather, surgery, diagnosis, wedding, chemo treatment, losing job, finding a new job, starting new job, finishing litigation for my MVA, buying new car, buying our block of land, running household, looking after pets, running our business, working bla bla bla. I feel tired just reading it all. And people seem to have forgotten what we have been through and still keep asking for favours, calling at all hours of the day wanting Rob to give them car or IT advice. That or wanting him to fix their computers for free etc. People seem to think that they're the only one who calls but it's everyone else as well, including family (extended family giving me the shits but thats another story). Generally not a day that goes past where Rob doesn't get a call from someone wanting something. We are now learning to say no - that or putting a dollar figure on things. Rob and I have barely spent any time together since he got sick, still planning that honeymoon though. We've booked a night at the Grand Hyatt in a couple of weekends - going to just relax and enjoy each other. I think we've earned it! ROOM SERVICE!! I've thought of many people here who I've gotten to know and I often hope that things are going ok and your minds are at least, a little more at ease. I know it probably isn't the case because we're all in the same boat, one way or another. Cancer just rips out the rug from under you, shakes you around a shitload and nothing is the same after that. Sometimes it can be good, more often it's just a crock of shit.