It's only been just over 2 months since I was put on the 'watch and wait' approach for Follicular Lymphoma. I have been having periodic sensations in my left arm for while. I mentioned this to my GP a few weeks ago but he didn't seem to think it was anything. This morning I woke with swelling above my left collarbone. I called the cancer care nurses and my oncologist wants an urgent CT, which I have an appointment for tomorrow and then an appointment to see him on Thursday, 27 February 2014. I am trying to be positive and upbeat about it all but I'm afraid deep down it is getting the better of me. I have had a sickly feeling all day. Is this it? is this where the next step of my journey with Lymphoma begins? A part of me hopes not but then a small part of me kind of hopes it is so that we can just deal with it and get it over and done with. Is that wrong of me to think that way? I've found that I am constantly checking for any signs of progression. I haven't been fanatical but probably about every couple of that fanatical? It really is hard just to put in the back of your mind. I am booked to have a weekend away in Orange with my 'cruise buddies' this weekend. Regardless of the outcome of the tests I am still going. I need to surround myself with love and laughter as much as possible and they certainly are a fun bunch. The weekend after I am looking forward to spending the weekend with my girlfriend I grew up with, just the two of us. Leaving the husbands and kids behind. These are the little things in life I have to concentrate on, it puts a smile on my face just thinking about what wonderful friends and family I have and how happy they make me. Oh well.....keep your fingers crossed for me Kazza
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