I just found my journals from after I was diagnosed in London in December 2005. Here is an excerpt:
"Neuts not budged from 0.02 all week until today - 0.08! A small victory, Tomorrow's results will be the test, up or down - what's it going to be? Mucositis, thrush in belly, fluid in the knee caps, itchy skin, peeling lips, thining hair, massive weight loss and a generalised misery that comes with having had enough.
Is it time to go home now? Do I want to go home now? Where is home? Chris came tonight - we cried."