Tomorrow we get the results of my genetic testing. I feel like if it is positive that the family will blame me for putting them all in danger. Logically that is a silly thing to think but it is hard to think logically sometimes.
I guess the way to look at it is that if we do have the gene that it is good we found out & that the others can take precautions and maybe be saved from having cancer. But if I try to think that way to put a positive spin on it then I feel annoyed about why did I have to be the first one to get cancer. Why couldn't one of them have got it first and saved me?
I have not really thought "why me" about my cancer. I have just thought of it as a random thing. But if it is caused by a gene then that means it was not as random and somehow I find that idea a lot harder to deal with.
There is no point to all this worrying as I might not even have the gene. But I don't find out until tomorrow so I'll just keep worrying until then.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.