I had a stroke (TIA) the day after my last day of radiation 1 month ago. My family went into total panic mode, very protective and I couldn't drive for the month (legal condition). I know I have it so good compared with so many others but right now just need to vent a little. Am so pissed off with the TIA - it was like an incredible double whammy. The burns from the radiation continued to get way worse while I was in hospital with the TIA and for a week and a half after finishing the radiation before turning the corner and beginning to heal. Today they are great. It felt like I couldn't concentrate on getting over the radiation because of the TIA and the fatigue was just phenomenal. My concentration and memory, initially, were quite scaringly poor. I quite like thinking, and to have something happen to my brain is very scary. One month later and I begin my work again tomorrow which I love. Everybody is very wary and worried about me going back to work which means I can't express my concerns except here. I guess it's normal to have concerns but it's a little hard. I worry about having another TIA, cancer coming back in another place and more aggressively and whether I'll be able to work well tomorrow. I need to be able to concentrate and remember things which I should be able to do but because I'm worried about it, am not sure I'll be able to do it well enough. Have been really looking forward to tomorrow and having my freedom and independence back but am getting so nervous and teary. I wish I could just shut off my feelings. Have been having nightmares about my body literally falling apart and then dying.
5 Comments
Contributor
All i can say is you poor thing, like you havent been through enough already!! I think you are very brave for going back to work, try not to worry about it as you can only do your best and im sure your work colleges are going to be very understanding after all you have been through. I think we all worry about the cancer coming back, that is only natural and I dont think that will ever go away, someone did say to me once it will probably become easier to deal with (mind you they arent a cancer patient!!) Im not sure if i am very helpful but i just wanted to wish you all the very best of luck for your first day back at work tomorrow, try not to be too hard on yourself like i said you can only do your best and not to many people in your situation would be rushing back to work so good on you!! Enjoy yourself Stacey
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Super Contributor
I am so sorry to read you had a TIA. I guess that was becsuse of the radiation. I am so glad you are well now. Going back to work is good and you'll do ok . Let us know how you get on .It looks like you're not letting cancer rule you're life.
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Contributor
Hi Silly and Stacey, Thanks for your comments. Going back to work was great. Very busy but my brain seemed to kick in ok and I got through a very long day quite well. I was surprised I wasn't that tired by the end of it - maybe living on adrenalin. I really appreciated hearing from both of you and your support. Thanks again. Kim
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Super Contributor
Congratulations!!!
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Contributor
Thanks - am still smiling 🙂
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