These are going to be the ramblings of a very scared woman who, when spoke of her fear was 'reassured' that there was nothing to worry about and that everything would be fine!. On Friday I have my first CT Scan since starting chemotherapy on 20 October.I have experienced the occasional pain in my stomach and liver, but this morning I had very severe pain in my stomach and I vomited - the first time in 3 months. Being a little stressed by this, my mind started to imagine the most horrible and worrying things that could be happening-the chemo is not working, the chemo was working now it isn't, my Oncologist told me it was aggressive and very advanced - it was too far gone to do anything about it.
Common sense tells me that if that was the case, they would not have given me chemo (right?).
I am quite disappointed in myself for thinking this way - I really am a positive, happy person and I am forever allaying the fears of my family - yes I feel really great!! really..!
Night time is the bad time - laying in bed, all is quiet, then the thoughts and memories of what has brought me here take over.
A charming 'friend' told me about cats in nursing homes. The residents all had cats and if a cat disappeared, then the nurses knew that patient was about to die!! Now, sometimes when my cat does not sleep with me, I start to panic-thank you 'friend'- stupid bloody thing to tell someone ! I have finished waffling, I just hope my little girl purrs me to sleep tonight!
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.