Yesterday was six months since Mum died.
It's a wierd thing though.
Sometimes it feels like it all happened so long ago, but then in the very next moment, I feel as though I am in the room with you, stroking your forehead and hearing your last breaths all over again just as though it only happened yesterday.
We always knew it would come back some day - 99% sure to return they told us. Not exactly good odds. IN the meantime, we lived and laughed, loved and cried - all five of us - you, me, Dad, Jon and Nick - TOGETHER - continuing to create memories or our lives. But, none of us ever dreamed it would come back so soon and so vehemently. Not even twelve months from diagnosis until those horrible last few weeks were upon us.
I miss you so much - I constantly find myself thinking that I must call you and tell you this or that, or ask your opinion on something. I sepnd hours chatting to you in my mind - just trying to imagine what you might think or say about something.
I long for the day when it doesn't all hurt quite so much - when all the things we did together, all the places we went together, all those memories, make me smile and remember - instead of cry.
I love you Mum... xo
