So- I get a call from my darling husband's onco man in Sydney today...mmmm....this can't be good.....
And it ain't....there is now disease IN his liver and his bowel is covered in tumour. Before it was only on the lining of the blood vessels on the lining of his liver.....Bummer!
And there can be radiation bead put in his liver to shrink the tumour, but it is not a cure nor control......
MMmmmmmm.....
What does this mean? I ask....that he will get tireder and tireder as his liver struggles to function....is the answer.
Prognosis (which we have never had before due to the rareness of the cancer....)
Do nothing- a year.....
What would you do? I ask....
Definitely the radiation bead in the liver would increase life expectancy.....then maybe surgery on his bowel might also increase time left......
mmmmmm....
How long..........?????
Maybe an extra year.......
mmmmmm......
Thanks very much, I say- (what the hell for I ask myself later!!!)
You need to discuss it with your husband tonight and let us know what you would like us to do.
Cheers! I say.....(am I drinking with this guy? Proposing a toast to our union?)
Bye.....
Bummer! SO I went outside, sat on a rock in the playground and cried. Quietly.
The sun was beaming down on me and then I hear thunder....I look up and there is the biggest, blackest cloud over my head, but not blocking the sun. More thunder....
And I feel like I am in a cartoon with a big black thunder cloud of bad news hanging over my head.....which makes me laugh......
Am I delusional?
Then I went back inside and taught Year 11 Art for the afternoon.
I am delusional!
SO I have come home tonight and told my husband the news.....he cried....then told me he would continue to fight!
But I don't know if I can any more....
But there were more cuddles and kisses for the kids tonight, more stories, more lying in bed with dad.....cancer even has the power to screw up a bedtime routine.......it's the little things.....
Bummer!
Another trip to Sydney.....to who knows what????
Cheers!
(And I am raising my glass to all of you out there!)
PA
