Had my third chemo treatment last week and, by Sunday was feeling quite unwell and "down". Actually burst into tears when I couldn't eat the meal I'd prepared- even though I was hungry.
For the first time since diagnosis, my partner and I then sat down and had a real heart to heart when I finally voiced all my emotions and thoughts and the anger about both getting cancer and the lack of emotional support from the medics came out. I finally told him how I was scared that "it would get me eventually" and that it was only a matter of time. I'd never had the courage to say that before, for fear of upsetting him. It was an amazing, cathartic experience. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I wish I'd done it sooner but I was so aware of staying strong for everyone else that I would lie awake at nights thinking about the "what ifs" then say nothing about it to anyone.
The major thing for me is how well I've felt since. I decided I had to stop wallowing and move on and it seems this new (genuine) positive attitude has made a difference. I am now not miserably waiting for the next bout of sickness like I would normally do and just feeling so much better.
I know this may be short-lived as chemo resumes next week but I would urge anyone to voice their fears and thoughts as it really has made such a difference to me.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.