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smiler

Having just undergone 6 months of chemo after my whipples op, I have just been told that the chemo wasnt successful and the cancer has spread into the lining of my stomach. It is hard to get an accurate prognosis as it's obviously not great that it's returned immediately but my general health is otherwise very good, so they really dont know. Just dont know how to feel. Is this going to be my last Christmas? Im separated with 16 year old twins and Im scared for their future more than mine. Their relationship with their dad isnt brilliant (though I know he'll try to be there for them, I worry that he can't offer the support they need)and Im sure the stress of worrying about them cant help. Anyone else experiencing this?

smiler

well today I finished my 2nd cycle of chemo and can't believe the difference between this and the first one. I've not had any sickness or diarrhoea this time, very few bad spells and am generally feeling so much better. I am feeling so much more optimistic about the rest of the chemo (4 cycles to go) and am now starting to feel I can do it. Thank God. All I need now is to be told it's working 🙂

smiler

Got bad news last night. My cousin died last night, 3 months after being diagnosed with liver cancer. I am torn between feeling lucky that I've had a succcessful operation and the opportunity to have chemo, and feeling a bit scared for the future. I am so gutted for her and her family. She was only 50. Is it my imagination or is there someone close being diagnosed with cancer every week? Maybe Im just more aware of it now. What do you think?

smiler

Hi there Hope you and your partner are well. I finally took the opportunity to read all your blogs from the beginning and it made interesting reading. Some of what your partner has gone through rings a bell, but, luckily, my symptoms don't seem to have been as bad. My third week on gemticabine was pretty bad though. The first couple of days were not too bad, but by the end of the week, I felt like I'd just had enough of the pain and nausea. I was so glad to have this week off from treatment but I'm sure I'm going to feel so anxious by the time it comes round again. It was a brave but very understandable decision to come off chemo. I think only those going through it can make the choice but my worry would be that I would feel everyone else would think I was just giving up. Has she had any responses like that or has everyone been supportive? If you read my blog, you'll see that I am in a more positive frame of mind having discussed all my feelings and emotions at last with my partner and am trying hard not to get down again (though of course it'll happen!) Both that and the lack of chemo this week has made this an enjoyable week, even managing to go out for a full day with a friend- something I haven't been able to do so far due to the nausea. Look forward to hearing from you

smiler

Had my third chemo treatment last week and, by Sunday was feeling quite unwell and "down". Actually burst into tears when I couldn't eat the meal I'd prepared- even though I was hungry. For the first time since diagnosis, my partner and I then sat down and had a real heart to heart when I finally voiced all my emotions and thoughts and the anger about both getting cancer and the lack of emotional support from the medics came out. I finally told him how I was scared that "it would get me eventually" and that it was only a matter of time. I'd never had the courage to say that before, for fear of upsetting him. It was an amazing, cathartic experience. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I wish I'd done it sooner but I was so aware of staying strong for everyone else that I would lie awake at nights thinking about the "what ifs" then say nothing about it to anyone. The major thing for me is how well I've felt since. I decided I had to stop wallowing and move on and it seems this new (genuine) positive attitude has made a difference. I am now not miserably waiting for the next bout of sickness like I would normally do and just feeling so much better. I know this may be short-lived as chemo resumes next week but I would urge anyone to voice their fears and thoughts as it really has made such a difference to me.

smiler

hi probably not a great help but i was on a double dose trial consisting of iv gapcetabine(or whatever its called lol)and capecitabline tablets. Unfortunately I only managed one week of both as the side effects (sickness and diarrhoea) were overwhelming. I've got pancreatic cancer and have been assured that the iv on its own will still do the job but I do kind of regret not being able to tolerate both as I feel it would have given me a better chance, but I feel that quality of life is important and I knew I couldn't have coped with 6 months of that. Hope the lack of side effects continues and that all goes well. Very best wishes

smiler

hi there I am 12 weeks on from my whipples and now feel, if anything, that the pain in my stomach is getting worse, though in every other way I am feeling better as the creon tablets are helping my digestion (eating has been a major problem for me and the one thing that got me down most was the constant nausea and discomfort). I have been told to keep taking co-codamol (which does help) but I cant help thinking that the pain should have eased by now. What are the docs saying about the pain? Is this normal after 6 months? I remember crying in pain in hospital and was told not to be such a baby and that "some mild discomfort was to be expected". I swear if Id been able, I would have slapped that doctor.

smiler

I think the main thing I discovered is that having cancer has changed me. I am so grateful for the support of my partner, family and close friends but am determined not to be hurt by the lack of communication/interest from others I would normally have expected more from. Life's too short so I focus on those that are genuinely interested in how I'm doing and who really want to hear whether I've had a good or a bad day, but, equally I sometimes find myself having to force them to tell me about their day or what's going on with them. I was so upset when my lovely step-daughter called, in tears, to say she'd been having a bad time at home with her husband but felt she couldn't tell me as "I had enough on my plate". This is when it hits me most, that the dynamic of my relationships has changed. I may have changed in some respects but I still want to be there for others too. My life is not just about cancer and I can't allow it to take over. Basically, what I'm saying is that it's a 2 way street. My partner, family and close friends are there for me but in order for our relationships to survive, I aim to be there for them when I can too.

smiler

Thanks for the info, really appreciate it. I had a terrible day yesterday with sickness, diarrhoea and pain following my capcitabine tabs and may not be able to continue with these, but wil continue on the gemcitabine iv for the moment. Not sure when I'll see the benefits of the creon as the effects of the chemo seem to be outweighing them but I look forward to feeling better soon.

smiler

HI Im a 43 year old woman, diagnosed 10 weeks ago with pancreatic cancer. To say this was a shock was an understatement as we (doctors, family, friends and even me) believed it was a gallbladder problem. I underwent the whipples procedure which went well (though the post-op problems were a bit of a nightmare) and have just started chemo but my main issue has been regarding eating. I am getting tired of the nausea/pain/fatigue after eating even small amounts and only yesterday was finally prescribed creon enzyme tablets. Just wanted to get others experiences of these tablets as Im desparate for some relief and need to know they work....

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