Okay so its been exaclty 511 days since Dad was diagnosed with his lung cancer. We have gone through many rounds of radiation, chemo, pluerodesis and mum clocking up the kilometres back and forth to Bendigo/Ballarat. The ups and down in the past few months of Dad getting infections and not being himself has been hard to watch. The doctors upping the strength of his morphine for the pain and how life is no longer in his eyes.
We always knew that there was only one ending to this story but Dad has kept up the fight, staying as positive as he can and making sure that he doesn't worry people too much.
In the past 16 months he has celebrated 35 years of marriage to my mum, seen his one and only daughter marry and reached the milestone of 60.
The emotional ride has been like being on the rollercoaster at Luna Park but we have now been told that this ride doesn't have much longer and we need to prepare ourselves for the end. Something that I think I have unconciously always told myself but the reality of it is like I am on a collision course with a Mack truck and can't find the brakes.
I know that death is a part of life but he is too young, he won't ever meet any grandkids, I will never be able to run to him for his fatherly advice....and then there is my mum; she is losing her best friend, her husband and life as she knows it. She is being so strong and holding it togehter but she is going to crash too.
So the verdict is 3 weeks left...it could be less it could be more but Iam going to make sure that I make the most of the time that is there. I can show my dad that he can let go from this world knowing that we are all going to be okay. I can make him proud as his guidance and love has made me who I am.
I will tell him I love him as I do everytime I see him.
He's lucky you are there, Jods77. It sounds to me like you are more and more unencumbered with him and I sense he will find lots of solace in that. It's a very powerful thing you have expressed. And done it very well.
Harker
Hi Jods77,
I agree with HArker. Your perceptions are clear and honest. He is lucky to have someone with him who can see the situation with such integrity.
Take care of yourself and your Mum as well as your Dad.
Samex
