I just finished reading this wonderful book. Two days it took - says it all. Thank you Harker for so eloquently telling the world how it was/is for you and while each of our experiences is different, the similarities are there for each of us. My experience has not been nearly as fraught as yours but for all of us the common threads are there. The line "I sensed for the first time that I am changed" resonated completely with me. For me it was the day I had my picc line put in and then asked directions to the oncology unit. I had no-one with me, and as I walked towards the sign I realised that I was no longer someone who had only had major surgery - I was now a cancer patient. Nothing is ever quite the same again, is it? Once again, thank you. ... View more

I just finished reading this wonderful book. Two days it took - says it all. Thank you Harker for so eloquently telling the world how it was/is for you and while each of our experiences is different, the similarities are there for each of us. My experience has not been nearly as fraught as yours but for all of us the common threads are there. The line "I sensed for the first time that I am changed" resonated completely with me. For me it was the day I had my picc line put in and then asked directions to the oncology unit. I had no-one with me, and as I walked towards the sign I realised that I was no longer someone who had only had major surgery - I was now a cancer patient. Nothing is ever quite the same again, is it? Once again, thank you. ... View more

I haven't posted here for a long time but I was drawn to your post when I logged on. How succinctly you express the ever present fear, but how beautifully you show us how you are dealing with it. Thanks for posting. ... View more

Congrats. Sorry I can't make the launch but I shall certainly be acquiring a copy! S ... View more

Hi carole, I only drop in here every now and again so have just caught up on this thread. Yes, I am nearly 7 years from diagnosis and cancer free.The chemo did leave me with some long term side effects such as the neuropathy in my hands and feet and I struggled with depression for a while, but I have definitely come out the other end! Which is why I pop in here from time to time to let people know that while the cancer journey is hideous, some of us do manage to regain our lives (albeit changed from what it was.) I hope that things are going OK for you (and any others having to deal with chemo etc.) S ... View more

Hi Joybell, Just dropping in. I am a 7 year survivor of bowel cancer but still remember the chemo farts!! As does my family! I used to use a saline solution for my mouth wash and it worked well. Just sloshed it around. How lucky your husband is to have him caring for you. It can be very hard watching. I only survived with 'nanna naps' when the fatigue kicked in. Good luck!!! (With the farting!!) ... View more

Hi guys, I agree with sticking the pack (I called mine the fashion accessory)in the drawer of the side table - the noise used to keep me awake. I also often resorted to the lounge because of the alarm whenever the cord was kinked! Our nurses at the clinic also had a very 'fashionable' belt with a bumbag type pocket which I used to wear around my waist but some people used to put it over their shoulders. We used to laugh as to what colour we would have each week. I had the biweekly infusion (4-5 hours) of oxaliplatin and the folfox in the jetpack. I also found that loose fitting tops would often cover it quite well when I went out but eventually I just dealt with it and felt that the side effects were harder to cope with than the pack itself!!! Aqua 51, I ope your daughter is doing Ok. I remember my parents were probably impacted on more than anyone else as I was 50 when diagnose (2007). Take care, S ... View more

Hi Chrissy. No matter when the diagnosis comes it is scary. I had to have emergency surgery for Stage 3 as my bowel had completely shut down and I was at risk of it perforating. Fortunately the position of the bowel tumour meant that I didn't need a colostomy, just the surgery and 6 months of chemo. That was August 2007 and I am still here!! The road ahead won't be easy but I believe that being as honest as possible with the people around you who you may need to rely for help is the best idea. people don't know how to react if they don't know your circumstances. good luck with it all. Just keep taking deep breaths. S ... View more

Hi fellow neuropathy bearers and colonoscopy folks! My 5 year scan was clear in October as well. So good to have continued good news. My neuropathy though is a different story. I like the hot sand analogy! Unfortunately even after 5 years I think I am stuck with the current level of irritation/pain for ever. I also occasionally have a degree of drop foot in my left foot. What gets me is the irony of when you do more exercise the numbness and the pain increases?! Anyway, while I am confined to comfortable shoes and often soft socks on hot nights (can't bear the pain of feet rubbing together)I am here to feel the discomfort. Sure better than the alternative I think! Might try the bamboo socks (mentioned in another post). Take care all, and think of the sand! (And have a giggle at the irony that it actually hurts too much to actually walk on sand for long!) S ... View more

hi Melinda. This is extremely common. If you search through here you will find many threads that have dealt with coming to terms with the 'new normal'. For me, it was possibly even harder than 6 months of chemo. The fundamental thing to remember is that YOU ARE NOT MAD!!! You are not ungrateful at being alive. You are perfectly normal. I waited some time (way too long) before I saw my GP and then a psychologist and medication and found constant help here in a variety of forums. Depression is very real post-treatment as suddenly you no longer have any control over what is happening. As awful as treatment is, at least you are DOING something.. and no-one else gets it even when they are being wonderfully supportive. If you have a good relationship with your GP, go and see him/her and possibly embark on counselling before it gets too much. My husband didn't want to know about my issues but if you are able to talk with your family, let them know what you are feeling as well. Surviving can be terribly hard. Please don't wait too long to seek some help. You would be surprised just how common your thoughts are. Take care, S ... View more