Hi Sailor, Personally I haven't had that exact experience but I do "remember' that after my emergency hemi-colectomy and the morphine pump, my doctors were sitting at the end of my bed explaining to me that I had cancer and would need chemo etc, etc and all I did was say "OK". No tears, no anger - so presumably the morphine was working to numb everything, even my common sense! My Dad on the other hand had similar hallucinations and as a daughter watching a highly intelligent engineer rambling about people watching and chasing him through the hospital room, it was a scary time. They took him off the morphine and he was fine with digesics. Funny things these drugs, Samex ... View more

Hi Bev, That is awesome!! It looks like you are in for a big year. Congrats!! Samex xx ... View more

Hi, I only just found this and thought that I would add to it. I was away from school for 8 months - there one day- gone the next scenario with emergency surgery for bowel cancer. I am a high school teacher and teach at the school that both of my sons attend.(The eldest has since left). I was completely upfront about my illness as I beleieve that the kids and the parents had the right to know why I had disappeared and that I hadn't just gone to Europe for 2 1/2 terms! It also helped my youngest son (then 13) deal with everything. My boss and HT were amazing and when I tried to work for a while they actually discouraged me as they could see that I wasn't coping. I found that being honest and upfront meant that when I saw kids or parents in the local community, they knew how to react and were actually very supportive. I use my experiences as anecdotes where relevant in class (I am an English teacher) to sometime highlight a viewpoint and I find my students to be wonderfully responsive. I trully believe that it is better to be honest is the best way. Samex ... View more

Amanda and Sham I cannot imagine how much worse the whole situation must be for you. When I was diagnosed my parents (in their 8o's) were the most badly affected. My problem was with, my then 18 year old son, who just didn't want to have anything to do with the problem.Maybe his way of dealing with problems in general - don't know. During treatment, my parents would spend the last 2 hours in the clinic with me and then take me for lunch before I felt too ill to eat. I feel very privileged to have my family and humbled by your stories and feel that in this great karmic universe it will come to pass that you and your children will be stronger and have wonderful resilient and loving children. As for your families, they are the ones missing out on knowing amazing people. Samex ... View more

Hi guys, I am really fortunate in that my true friends have really beeen there for me. One strong group of very old friends has been amazing as there were 2 of us doing chemo together. We became "chemo buddies" and while he lived on the north Coast and I am in Sydney, we spent a lot of time on the phone talking as only we cancer people can. Unfortunately he died 2 months after I finished treatment and I felt very guilty - still do I guess. But in regard to friends, we had a breakfast with the 8 remaining of the group and after we had toasted Phil's life, one of our member turned to me and toasted that I was still there with them. It was possibly the most humbling moment (albeit brief) of the whole affair. Perhaps what cancer does is show us what and who are really important. Samex ... View more

Hi Jasmine, It's really hard to give you words that can help. How about an electronic hug? Even though we don't really know each other, we share a common bond which maybe allows this familiarity. I hope all goes well. Samex ... View more

Hi Sallyz, i just read your story and my heart cried for you and your kids. I was lucky and had an "on the ball" doctor at the emergency ward where I took myself. They took a couple of days to locate the tumour in my bowel, but it was done in time and operated on quickly before the perforation happened. My 20 year old son has just had 2 friends diagnosed with testicular cancer so he begged me to take him to be checked out. They were a little sore so the doctor ordered an ultra sound and urine test. It should all be fine and we get all the results tomorrow, but after my own experience we are all extra cautious. I hope that you and your kids find comfort with each other and that you talk about your husband often and keep his memory alive. Samex ... View more

Is it only cancer patients who can see the ridiculous nature of our situation? Who else cheerfully, every so often(depending on your personal regime)trots up to a room full of Lazyboy chairs and voluntarily sticks their arm on a pillow to allow "toxic waste" to slowly drip feed into a tube, all the while knowing that you are going to feel like crap. But hey this is how we spend Tuesday! I, too can relate to the picc line. I used to come home with a slow release "jetpack" for 2 days before returning for treatment and the valve was faulty. When I rang the clinic to say that it was leaking, there was a moment of sustained panic and fear at the other end of the phone, followed by "How quickly can you get back. We'll wait for you. Try to turn the pump off and wrap up the leak." I only had a very small burn but the thought occurred to me - hmm , this is what is pouring into me. Thanks for your story, Samex ... View more

Hi all, Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I suppose part of it is that the words reasssure me in that I'm not really quite so crazy and irrational as I thought. This forum is helping as I had a friend who lost the fight last June who always said that no matter how somebody else loves you, it is only the person who has gone through it all who trully understands. It's good to know that as I reach closer to the magical 5 year mark, it should become a little easier to keep the fears at bay. I have a friend having his third surgery for brain tumours in 15 months, so my small piece of insecurity becomes relative doesn't it? Lets all keep laughing! Samex ... View more