I've been through cancer treatment and have come out the other side. I've made some vast changes in the way I live my life, but there's one area where I remain stuck and I don't know how to get unstuck without hurting anybody. I fear if I remain stuck, I will be the one I hurt most. Since going through treatment, my partner and I have grown apart. Actually, more accurately, I have grown and he remains where he has always been since I met him 12 years ago. When we first got together, it was all rushed and I didn't really have a chance to get to know him that well. We fought like crazy in the beginning, even separated, but then rather stupidly I decided to suppress all my negative feelings towards him in order for our relationship to carry on. We then had three boys together, and I have one from my prior marriage. Then I got cancer, and I realised how unhappy I am and I don't know what to do to help myself without hurting my children. They are 3, 4, 6 and 15. At the moment I just go on as if I am a single lady, but it really bothers me inside. He irritates me to no end - sometimes I feel like even throwing something at him! He holds all the purse strings - is rather well off - and I don't agree with his choices in how he spends. he won't even marry me because he's frightened of me getting any of his money should we split. I'm trapped and feel hopeless, and I know this is a very bad thing for my health. Anybody else out there going through something similar? Any suggestions? I'm dying inside and it doesn't have to be that way. I just don't want to hurt my children. LLx
