My beloved wife of 24 years, friend, companion and kindred spirit for over 30 years died last Sunday. I knew it was coming but I didn’t expect it to be so quick, so final, and oh so painful. Less than four weeks is what it took in the end; from the time she was told that the latest treatment wasn’t working, and there was nothing more that could be done, to when she slipped into a coma and drifted away. She was so brave, never complaining, caring about how the children would cope until the very end. It is so unfair. God I hate this disease. She did not deserve to die like this. She was such a good person, so caring of others, so generous with her time for those in need, and with no vices that could have contributed to the disease. This is my last blog. I think my heart would burst if I tried to continue now. To those who offered me support, thank you. And to everyone else on the website I wish you well and trust you and your loved ones have a better outcome than I and my wife experienced. I know it is a cliché but allow me a final indulgence. W H Auden, better than any poet I know, captures how I presently feel. (I have changed it substituted She for He). ———————————— Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message 'She is Dead'. Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. She was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.
7 Comments
Contributor
I am so sorry for the loss of your sole mate JohnK. I have no words of comfort to offer you in your pain. Your story is my story. You are not walking alone, and the poem is also how I feel about my loss. I am so sorry Wombat4
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New Contributor
Dear John What a lovely poem, I can truly relate to this poem how I felt when I lost my beloved grandmother. It explains those feelings very well in just a few words. John there is time to grief and time to recover. I dont't think I can offer you the apropriate words eihter to take this aweful pain of yours away. Its lovely that you can voice your grief here, and please do, thats what we are here for. To listen.to share the pain. John there is time to grief and time to recover. I sent you strenght and more strenght to get through this extremly difficult time. I hear you All the best Love Kristina
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Contributor
Dear John My heart aches for you in your pain and grief - I am so sorry for the loss of your dear wife and loved one. When two become one and one dies, the one left feels only half there - so lost and empty. Time passes and wounds turn to scars, no longer bleeding but aching and painful with only memories. My first husband died suddenly in '93 aged 49 after 24 years of marriage. Although life has moved on and I am happy now, tugs on the scars of loss still bring a tear. Offering you prayers and warm (((hugs))) of comfort, Pamela.
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New Contributor
Dear John,I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your soul mate,there are no words that I can offer to help heal the pain you are feeing.Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.Tina
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Super Contributor
I want to add my condolences . I hope you will get some comfort from memories of happy times that you and your wife shared .
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Occasional Contributor
Hi John,I can relate to that poem,my darling husband's time on this earth is nearly over and hope and pray I will be brave when it happens.I really feel for you and your family. Blessings and may your dear wife find everlasting peace. Be gentle to yourself. Dotty
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New Contributor
Your loss is overwhelming John. Your beautiful wife was happy, caring, loving and very selfless but her most wonderful gift of all was....she had you for her husband for 24 spectacular years. You have served her well. You must take good care of yourself now for being a care giver takes so much out of you. Life will go on and you will smile once more for your beautiful wife would not have it any other way. Love Jan
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