Well that is the end of the journey for me..my lovely husband passed away in Fremantle hospital on May 1st.2012. He is at peace at last and out of that dreadful pain,it has been very hard going when we arrived here in Perth, I seem to know Armadale and Fremantle hospital like the back of my hand. He just got progressively weaker and sicker and I finally called an ambulance to take him to hospital when he was no longer feeling like eating and could no longer stand. They (Fremantle Hospital) tried putting a stent down into the oesphageaus to help him swallow, but it was unsucessful and kept moving around.After 14 days in hospital he was losing weight rapidly , on the day before his death I had spent the whole day at the hospital, cutting his nails, shaving him, bathing him etc. so deep down I suspect I knew that something was happening, the next day I decided for some unexplained reason to catch a train to the hospital and not drive, thank goodness I did as I don't think I could have driven home to our sons place again. I was about three stations from Fremantle when the hospital rang and said he was becoming unresponsive, I said I would be there shortly and prayed he would hold on, I immediately rang our son at work and told him and he said he was on the way.I ran like a mad woman through the street from the station and got to his room, I told him I was there and he squeezed my hand, I begged him to hold on till our son got there and I rang my daughter in Sydney and told her to say goodbye to her Dad, she was really distraught as she and the three grandkids were arriving in a couple of days to see her Dad and Pop. Our son arrived soon after and we both held either hand, the staff could not have been nicer and did all they could to ease his suffering, I finally said to him it was time to go and ease his pain, finally after a few more minutes he passed away. To this day 2 weeks later it is all very surreal, even though we have had the funeral and a lovely little memorial service where the grandkids wrote notes and threw flowers in the ocean I still cannot believe it is finished, I keep thinking "Oh I must get Les to fix that or Oh I must let Les know that" we were one month short of our 40th wedding anniversary and I have lost my best friend. The main hurtful part has been the lack of any communication with his family, a family I never thought I had any problem with, when my son rang Les's only sister, her reaction was "I can't afford to fly to Perth"..no one was asking them to fly anywhere, but we did not even have a chance to say when I return to the East coast maybe we could have a small memorial there. Well as far as I am concerned their brother and Uncle would have been devastated at their lack of compassion for myself and his children, however that is their problem not ours. I now have the unenviable task of towing the caravan and car back to the East coast, I am leaving in a week or two and that way I can be closer to my daughter and grand children, and then may be able to map out my own future. He was only 66 years young and we had so much to do and see it is just not right.
9 Comments
Super Contributor
Gypsy1946 So sorry to read of your loss of your loved one deepest sympathies to all and a safe return on your journey kj
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Occasional Contributor
I am feeling so sad for you and your family.As you said "it's just not right" His family may regret not communicating with you in a loving way and not hearing that you were planning a memorial for them to attend.Be kind to yourself and stay safe on your trip back to the east coast. Give yourself permission to talk to Les,he is still your best friend and his spirit will never die. Gentle hugs to you from me. (((Gypsy1946))) Dotty
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Contributor
Dear Gypsy, my heart goes out to you & your family, it is so very hard to loose someone you dearly love. Travel safe back to the East Coast. Thinking of you Alison xxx
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Contributor
Dear Gypsy My love and hugs go out to you. What a tough time you have had. Be kind to yourself, my prayers will be with you. Terese.
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Super Contributor
I wish to add my condolences . It is difficult to comprehend some family members at these times. Have a safe trip back to your daughter and grandchildren.
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Contributor
When I was 10 yrs old, I am now 64, I stood on a deep pond filled with water, it was in the the UK in winter and the top had turned to ice. The ice gave away and I went straight down, I was struggling, screaming, grabbing the ice for support, of course the ice was breaking off and taking me further out, I thought I was going to die. My friend was standing on the side watching with horror. After a few moments, my viewpoint changed, from being in the water to behind my friends left shoulder, we were both watching this young lad struggling in the water. I felt a calmness and a peace that I had never felt before or since, if someone had said to me, would you rather go back be saved and live the rest of your life, or stay here, I would have chosen to stay were I was, even at that young age, It felt so serene. My friend grabbed a branch and passed it out to me and the instant I saw that young lad in the water touch it, I was back again in the water, cold, wet,terrified, my friend pulled me to the side. When my wife died in hospital just before last Christmas, as I held her hand and told her I loved her, when she stopped breathing I kissed her and then looked over my shoulder, because she would have been looking at herself and me, smiling, feeling no pain, no anxiety, and the cancer that had been the foremost thing in our lives for the previous two years, now didnt matter. My lovely wife would be feeling happy her battle was over. I knew she would be experiencing a peace and calmness never felt before, and would be happy where she was, and I am sure your beloved husband would now be feeling the same. We were also married for 40 yrs. Wombat4
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Super Contributor
Wombat ,your posts are so helpful to others. The experience you descibed is so much like those others have described when they were near drowning. It is good to know when the end is near that the person leaving us is at peace and not afraid.
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Contributor
Dear Wombat.....You are such a wonderful & thoughtful person. Alison xxx
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Not applicable
Hello Gypsy and may the universe and your god be with you throughout your journey. My husband is in his last months of terminal cancer and we are hoping to make it to August which will be our 42nd anniversary. I, like you will take some time to live in our home and then go east to my son and grandchildren. I am already worried just thinking about it. Somehow I know that my husband will travel with me for the rest of my life. He will be in my heart, just like yours is. Take care Gypsy...my husband is only 66 also. We will get our strength from them. Love Jeaneil.
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