Ok I have just completed round 4 of 6 of chemo so I feel a bit better qualified to have a crack at a blog..so here we go..I have an addiction… that’s right…My name is Yvonne and I am addicted to diet coke….I cannot pass a vending machine without a fix. ….Cheapest diet coke in town is the vending machine at the police station… so what does this have to do with chemo one may ask…nothing really although people have compared it to poison I believe..each to their own I say
So at the beginning of my face book blogs I always start with……..so sit back , crack open a cold can of diet coke cause have I got a yarn for you……………..must be a can….believe it or not I have always loved that metallic taste…bit spooky really..
Here we go….once again my style is not every ones cuppa tea ..I do not wish to offend anyone…I just like to look on the light side of life. Spelling and grammar are not my strong point
So last night I had to take that very settling drug dexamethasone. You just got to love being wired at 3am……so this round was a dose the morning before and evening before chemo..wacko the duck…..for this who have not read my blog I call my husband dad and he calls me mum…
Ok dad let’s do it..load up the boat ..time for a bit of r and r..great autumn day ..late in the day..no worries boat has lights
So I pack all the necessaries…hand wash, clean clothes..gumboots..Fishing gloves…covered with extra-long washing up gloves…looking a treat…. blue green algae in the water so must be water tight I explain to dad….Wet weather gear and of course tampons……..why u may ask.
Well pet I said love I will tell u why… 1 am nearly 53 and every month on day 28 bang it’s on... every health care professional they assured me that most women my aged will be pushed into menopause with chemo…you ripper. The carrot dangling at the end of chemo for me…………...there had to be a benefit there somewhere amongst the mouth ulcer’s, loss of appetite, mood swings, loose bowels, hair loss, Hard bowels and so on we go……………….
Just picture this…. post op day 3 with 2 drain bottles swinging in the breeze I went to the loo.. Wiped my bum and thought my roids were playing up…endone will do it every time..no no no..with a ruddy gush bang it was on… ok shuffle back to bedside locker of course on the far side of the bed…bum clenched…quick hail Mary..look into+- toilet bag..bingo..one supper tampon and supper dopa pad ..it’s the simple things in life that make me smile…shuffle back..check the floor all good.was on so I balanced on one leg..cocked the other on the dunny seat ensuring I had de-bugged it..re…..phone dad…don’t worry mum chemo will fix that..
Round 1 chemo..3 days after..the stars were alligiened..happened to be day 28 too..abdo pain..constipated…oh no no no…you bastard…more tampons..supper doper by 2 and double overnighter maternity pads..dad I yell…what mum.. guess what he says…………….then he says bet you need me to go to the shops…never mind love next round maybe ??? ..just get the goods dad…while he was gone I cried for joy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Round 2 ..3 days after…… f**k the stars..it was day 28 and yes I got my f**k** g period again…dad had brought a double supply..love ya guts dad…..
You know for all of us there is just sometimes just one side thing that pushes u over the edge….cancer sucks
Round 3 ..chemo.. day 3 after..Day 4 after..day 5 after….thankyou Jesus Mary and Joseph and chemo…no period..Crack a can dad and prepare for THE CHANGE ...hot flushes, more mood swings. Absolutely no sex drive…add in the compulsory condom cause I am still on chemo remember… .Everything will dry up down below…fatigue. Depression…….dad gets the car keys……..where you off too dad..Might just stock up on lady products it only 5 days…..never know my luck !!!!!!
OK so I lost my hair everywhere…………..loving the permanent brazilin. No wooffie old lady smells…...very hygienic I believe………….that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it !!!!.dad loves its but we do talk in code..he used to book my appointments and called it a slinky……god love him
Ok so my chemo brain has taken me way off track…that my excuse and I am sticking to it………….great excuse you know…today I was chilling after chemo waiting for dad to pick me up….then it dawned on me ..I drove this morning..the nurse said I could drive…..ok then..time to pack up…hey girls..you know how I have been waiting for dad..yep….. well I drove this morning so best I go..no worries..chemo brain Yvonne !!
So that’s it for now…so if you wish to follow duck out and grab a slab of diet coke or whatever floats your boast and will stay down ..
Oh yes had a great fishing trip..caught myself a boat propeller..ours in fact, a log and lost dads favourite stump jumper…slept for 6 hours…bonus..
Have included a few pics of our adventure. Live on the wild side ..get out there when you can…life is short..who knows what the future holds and pet I said love thank someone we don’t for I fear we would never get out of bed
Over and out. That’s professional boat talk !
oh yes a question..every photo i try to upload says its too big..any suggestions !!!
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.