A cancer diagnosis and ensuing treatments initiated change to my life. No question about it. In an earlier blog, I likened cancer to a “slap in the face” suddenly you have to face the hard questions previously swept under the carpet. Change can be daunting especially when it is forced upon you. Over the past 4yrs I have been deconstructing and reconstructing my life. Would I have initiated so many changes without the intrusion of cancer… probably not… cancer has sped up the process. Would I be so open to talk to others on this website before cancer? probably not … I would have been compassionate but I truly would not have understood all that is discussed. Reading the diversity and similarities of experiences and also the unlimited strengths of individuals who contribute to this website has been a “saving grace” for me. Knowing others experience doubts and fears and that it is perfectly normal to feel that way… brings relief. Being positive all the time, as is commonly suggested by family and friends, is thoroughly draining! It is hard to attain a balance between positive and negative feelings, but life always brings many challenges. Being at the brink of that dark hole of depression was a frightening experience… A number weeks after surgery, I remember explaining to my local doctor how unsure I was about how to proceed. She replied “What are you worried about the cancer is gone, live your life”. Her answer was not the best advice I received…. Cancer is gone (comforting to think but did I know for sure), live your life… would love to but all these niggling doubts, constantly keep replaying in my thoughts! I decided to seek advice from another source. Through the help of a Breast cancer support group and this website I am exploring new directions to living life, not the same as my old life but like the way I read a recipe… I am working through one direction at a time. Reindeer
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