Father recently diagnosed - Prostate Cancer

[eva15]

Two days ago my 55yr old father called me to let me know he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is a medium grade (7 on the Gleason Score). We find out a bit more tomorrow - e.g. whether it has spread outside the prostate etc. but at the moment it is all very new, and almost an unreal thought. I want to support him and my mum as best I can, so would love to hear from others (especially dads who always feel like they have to be strong for their families and find it hard to communicate a bit) about the things they found supportive and helpful from their families/friends... and also the not-so-helpful stuff so I can try and avoid it. Unfortunately I live about 8 hrs away from them so most of my support will have to be long-distance based, though I hope to get up there as often as I can. Thanks for any info anyone can share.

[kj]

eva15 When I was diagnosed I found that what helped me was the love and support given to me and my wife by our Daughter,always there for a chat if needed, not shy to speak the sometimes unspoken I love you Dad, which still brightens my day when I hear those words, just let him know that you are there for both Mum and Dad, but don't overlook yourself as it is a terrible shock when Cancer is diagnosed and look after your own health there is a balance we sometimes just need love and understanding.And take it one day at a time. kj

[polly]

Hi Eva15, On the 22 July I too was told I have prostate cancer. Also 7 on the Gleson scale. I am awaiting results to find out is the cancer has spread. I concur what kj has said. Just be there for your Dad. Dont be afraid or shy about talking to your Dad and Mum about the cancer. There is nothing you personally can do about it other than be willing to talk, listen and support your Dads decision regarding treatment. And yes, don't forget to tell him what is very often not said between parents and children, "I LOVE YOU". Be strong eva15 Polly

[Sailor]

Hi Eva 15 I was diagnosed sixteen years ago at age 52 with a very aggressive prostate cancer (Gleason 5 + 4 = 9) and up until now have had life with a very good quality. I have travelled extensively and until the last two years it hasn't had much effect on my lifestyle. A bit more planning ahead and dealing with side effects of ongoing hormone therapy. A Gleason 7 tumour usually has good outcomes, with a range of treatments available and therapies for if the first treatment doesn't work. It is not good that he has been diagnosed so young. Us men are funny in the different way we handle such situations. Some want to be very private and not discuss things, others the opposite. I don't know what your father is like, but which ever way just let him know that your are concerned and that you love him. Don't overwhelm him as with prostate cancer you are in for the long haul and he will need you their in the future, such as when he is having treatment. Don't be afraid to get in touch with the cancer helpline 13 11 20, you don't have to have cancer to use their services and also see if there are ways you can support your Mum. Take care Sailor I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott