For when the prognosis is not rosy

[kaa]

I see the forum topics. I see my mum struggle because everyone she talks to has a curative diagnosis. Who does she talk to when the prognosis is not rosy but she wants life to be? Who is there to discuss the emotional roller coaster that comes with a 'non-curative' diagnosis? So I would like to start a forum topic to discuss this issue.

[kj]

kaa I was diagnosed terminal after surgery, and communicate with others who had the same Cancer with a similar life expectancy we have become friends,I found it easier to talk to another who was having the same feelings and thoughts,going through pain wondering if this is your last Xmas together or other life milestones it is as much mental pain as well as physical, some of our suggestions helped each other at critical times,there are certain things you do not want to discuss with your family at this period in your life,and only someone who is on the same path truly understands, for me I found it very helpful. Currently I am in remission, I communicate with my friends who are living with this Cancer ,unfortunately I am the only one in remission and their Cancers have gone to other places in their body, the rate of survival of Pancreatic Cancer are still very low. I have to add that life is not all doom and gloom with a terminal illness, there are still pleasures to enjoy, my friends and I still have a chuckle. I hope this reply is of some benefit to you and your Mum. kj

[round2]

I have been told that they cannot "cure" me either. I asked point blank if I was terminal and I was told no. Then I asked different Drs and even the same Drs and apparently the new tumours can "go" or become inactive. It's very confusing. I'm still struggling a bit with finding that the cancer is back after I was supposed to be in remission and I just don't want to ask any more questions. I have decided that I will just be positive and do everything that they tell me to do and just ride it out. I've just started chemo again and it's really rough this time but I've been feeling well for a couple of days now and went to work today, I'm doing lots of normal things. Next week is chemo and I'll be sick and resting. It's a new kind of normal. Life can be good, pick the times when she's feeling well, even if it's only for a couple of hours. My family understand I'm not going to make a decision on doing something until the actual day, but if she has something nice to look forward to she might be able to focus and draw on her strength and make it for a little while. No pressure and flexibility is the key. I'm happy to chat to your Mum if she wants but I'm in no way an expert. I'm sure the Cancer Council have excellent counsellors that she can chat to. Stay strong Kim xx

[kaa]

Thank you for your replies and I apologise for the late response. Your words brought comfort to myself and my mother. We are still struggling through and attempting to take each day as it comes, and trying to find support groups in the community which has been unsuccessful so far. Warmest regards Kaa

[kaa]

Thank you for your replies and I apologise for the late response. Your words brought comfort to myself and my mother. We are still struggling through and attempting to take each day as it comes, and trying to find support groups in the community which has been unsuccessful so far. Warmest regards Kaa