Grief

[Weilong]

Hi all. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer when I was 18. She was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 9 so she had cancer for most of my life up until she died. Because she had it so long my family and I all kind of assumed she was never really going to die from it but the year I left home to go to university she started becoming really sick and then she died not long after I returned home for my Christmas holidays. We never talked about how sick she really was and we were really in denial that she might one day die. I'm now 25 and things just don't seem to get any easier. I think about her everyday but I've never talked about it with anyone. After she died I never really cried much about it and I'm never up set in front of anyone really but it's getting harder to keep emotionless as I get older. I tried to speak to a women's health nurse once about it but I couldn't say anything and she had no idea what I was so upset about. I feel like everyone in my family has moved on but for me it has just seemed to get worse. Last week I tried to phone a support line but I couldn't get through both times. I don't know how to even start a conversation about it, I'll probably start crying and won't be able to say anything. Is anyone in similar circumstances to me? I feel very alone as my mum was the only person in my life who really understood me. There are no words to describe how much I miss having my mother be my mum.

[#2]

Hi Weilong, So very sorry to hear about your mum. I have been a cancer patient but my Mum has also had breast cancer twice in the last 12 years shes doing well at the moment thankfully. So I dont really know how you feel about losing your mum. I know there is a process to grief and from what I know its different for everyone. There is a section on this forum for carers which may be suitable for you or maybe someone else who has gone through what you are going through can add to this thread with some helpful advice. It sounds like you may have been so young when she was diagnosed and grew up whilst she was sick so probably didnt understand much about what was going on, she probably did her best to keep fighting whilst you were so young and obviously got to the point where fighting was no longer an option for her. I would say you should call the cancer council support line on 131120, i think they are open Monday to Friday. Speak to someone there they should be able to point you in the right direction. There are also support groups, many available for breast cancer throughout australia. You can send me a private message by clicking on the little envelope next to my name, tell me what area you live in and I will search the support groups in your area and get a number for you to call. Take care; Butterfly