How can I help my friend?

[Laura]

Hi...I've never posted on an online message board, but I found this site and thought I might give it a try. My best friend's mum has breast cancer and my friend is helping to care for her. I'm pretty sure her mum has advanced cancer but I don't really know how bad it is. I think it's pretty serious since this is the second time around. I think caring for her mum is making her feel stressed out and sad. How can I help her???

[Philip]

I'm a partner of a carer, and in my experience the best thing you can do is ask your friend how YOU can help her. I found with my wife that at first she didn't know how I could help her, she had so much on her mind, she didn't give herself a chance to think about how other people could help her. But it IS important to take the time to find things to do to help a carer. Even if it is as simple as organising a special morning tea for your friend and her mother once a week. Or doing the ironing for her. Whatever it is, its one less thing your friend has to worry about.

[Sooziii]

I am sure if you spoke with you friend you would find there are things you can do to help - maybe sitting with her Mum for a few hours while your friend can go out, do sxome household chores for them, do the supermarket shopping.  You need to ask them to tell you how you can help make things easier and tell them you wont take no for answer - carers often don't like to admit they need help.

[#4]

Hi, My Name is Ben Jones from CanTeen. I think that it's wonderful that you are supporting your friend the way you are. I just wanted to add that there are lots of services set up to help carers, if your friend is overwhelmed there are professional people that can help.   If you wanted some guidance to help find such services , please feel free to contact me at work at CanTeen.     ben.jones@canteen.org.au Take care