Husband diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma about five months ago

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Husband diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma about five months ago

Hello,

 

My husband had a work falling accident about 3 1/2 years ago and while doing CAT scan to find any possible internal injuries, besides the physical-a mass was discovered on his right kidney.  It was kidney cancer and there was a partial nephrectomy and the surgeon believed all was removed.  No further treatments were done.  Now, three years later he began having severe pain in his right side that came and went.  I finally convinced him to go to the emergency room (we have no health insurance) and they discovered a mass on his 9th right rib and determined it was Metastatic Renal cell carcinome.   We were already having issues with him letting his family keep butting into our personal lives, insulting me for no reason and him not standing up for me.  Over time this caused anger and trust issues.  After the diagnosis I did all I could to help him.  Applied for free medication through Pfizer for $500 a day pills.  Applied for relief through our community hospital's charitable program.  Paid for pain medications, nutrition aides to help him gain weight etc.  Did much research on the condition and tried to be as educated about it as possible.  Went to every Dr appt.   Instead of accepting my support,  he began to turn away from me-talk only to his family who have treated me like I gave him his condition and have not supported me at all and have lied about me.  I have known all of them for 25 years and considered them my family since my family are all passed.  My husband I have been a couple for 17 years even though I have known him as long as the others.  Now they have all turned on me like rabid wolves.   We just bought a house about a year and a half ago.  Our relationship had always been awesome until the accident and has seemed to go down hill slowly from there.  His niece told a lie about me last year and he wouldn't stand up for me.  Keeps talking to her about our personal business etc.  I finally blew up about it and we slept in separate bedrooms and barely spoke for nearly six weeks.  Finally I was told to leave the home.  Due to the verbal abuse, his outbursts and character changes and him telling me that he would choose his family over me anytime, I left.  He has begun smoking cigarettes again after quitting for 3 1/2 years.  He called me terrible names, (which he has never done, even during arguments) changed his phone number, took me off having permission to check on his condition etc.  I am devastated and heart broken.  Basically homeless with a small income, in considerable debt putting money into the house.  I am so confused but I cannot talk to him.  I will be consulting with an attorney about my rights on Monday.  I have ended a 25 year relationship with my best friend (his sister)due to her non-support and attitude toward me.   I don't want to divorce him but what he has done to me is mind blowing!   He claims that I am crazy because I have posted a few comments on Facebook about his meddling non-supportive family,  though I mentioned no names specifically.  Him turning his back on me had made me angry and caused trust and respect issues

I feel like my life has been totally shattered and my heart ripped from my chest.  Has anyone experienced anything like this?  I have no answers

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Re: Husband diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma about five months ago

Hello Becpaths,

 

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I know it has been an month since this thread was posted. But I was wanting to know, how you have been holding up? This clearly stressful event has caused and brought out queer behavior for those around you. 

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Re: Husband diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma about five months ago

Hello,

 

Thank you for your concern.  I have found an apartment and am slowing picking up the pieces of a shattered life.  Thankfully I have true friends and family who love and care about and have helped me.    I do not know much about my husband's condition as he has shut me out of his life.  When I went to gather some of my belongings he looked very aged in the six weeks I had been gone.  Not sure what happens next, just taking it one day at a time. 

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