Diagnosed with CLL and, as expected, not particularly happy about it :)

[DarthPeppy]

After several horrendous years of putting up with insane neighbours, a death of a close friend from ovarian cancer, and the beginnings of a really irritating depression which caused my "best" friends to abandon me (started treatment in 1993, a few years after my dad died at home in 1989 ), domestic violence from my psychopathic ex-army brother, and <Last But Not Least> having to become the sole carer for my poor mother  who has Parkinsons, I am FINALLY GIFTED with the absolute love of Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.

I used to be a smoker, but the utterly ridiculous irony of it all, is that this form of cancer is not caused by Smoking, Drinking, or other drugs.

To say I am pissed off is an understatement; all I ask is that I may just squeeze a few more years out of this genetically defective body, so that I can take care of my poor mother until she passes.

-Oh, and see the last episode of "Red Dwarf"...

[saraii]

Hi DP, 

I feel for you. I too used to smoke and my cancer is not caused by smoking, drinking or drugs. Its rare and when found, usually in young children - I'm 33. To say I'm pissed is an understatement, atleast we both can relate. I of course, haven't had the history you've detailed and I'm sorry you've had to go through that adversity. Your humility shines through; wanting to still be there for your mother. I think that's beautiful. You sound like a fighter. You will get through this. We will get through this. 

S. 

[DarthPeppy]

Thanks Saraii, I'm well older at 52, so I shouldn't be surprised something like this has happened to me, what with the near constant stress and all. 

I'm on 3 monthly blood tests for now, but I am dreading chemo and hospitalization  (if I decide to go down that course in future); I used to work in the health department 20 years back, and it was one of the WORST employment experiences of my life  😞 

[MyheroCoolSpy]

Hi there.

Good news, we still have lots of year to live and we will survive also this on going pandemic together 😃 

Things may get hard, but who are we to give up? Stop worrying about your mother or yourself. Just live each day in the fullest. It may be hard, but we must fight with a happy heart.

[DarthPeppy]

I appreciate your words, I used to be happy years ago, loved doing cartoons and other artwork, but now I am a miserable bastard.

I guess the antidepressants have a hard time keeping up with my brain's poor defeatist attitude, so I truly envy your optimism; if I had some of that I could stop feeling sorry for myself, and perk up my immune system to keep this CLL at bay for a while longer.  

It was REALLY depressing (when I went to the cancer block at the hospital for my first diagnosis) seeing all the other folks in the waiting area in various stages of decline.