Grappling with reality

Janine3220
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

Hi Mensana

You will get through this too.

You have a lot to offer.

You will live for a long time yet to come.

Everything and everyone happens to you for a reason....

Cancer is an opportunity for many things.  Above all,

Ensure you get good bed rest and eat small meals of freshness and quality.

Do breathing exercises in an ambient enviro.

Above all, get a soft toothbrush and clean your teeth gently at least twice a day, rinsing with salty warm water.

 

I'm a psychotherapist and certified nutritionist. I am experiencing early stage breast cancer in the public system.  There are many types of breast cancer. I'm in the betwixt and between stage since I have to wait for test results. I am a fighter for justice in many domains and now I have engaged in a battle with an uninvited guest who won't win - as if I would let him. I know my purpose. I have accepted the 'gift' of the scourge. Give me 'faecal matter' and I turn it into fertiliser and sow seeds that grow strong. 

 

People reading this: cry, rale, jump up and down, whatever, and get any sadness/regret/hurt out of you, talk, talk, talk, find someone you trust and respect. Remember, you have been given time, you have support, and it is not the end, although it might feel so, or you might think so. You have purpose.

 

Thank you Mensana, it is a pleasure to read your blog. As the hours march on you will feel better. Your will is strong, your heart is pure, and you will live long and well.  : )

 

mensana
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

@Janine3220, thanks for you kind words and all the handy tips. Always good to get as much information as possible.

 

Any kind of cancer isn't good, hope it works out well for you. A friend of mine went through therapy a couple of years ago for breast cancer and she's still clear today.

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mensana
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

Well, this past week has been a bit up and down. I've passed halfway point of this stage of treatment. But the chemo seems to be starting to really take it out of me. Yesterday was an absolute downer. Woke in the middle of the night and started to cough and dry retching set in. Ended up sitting up in a chair for the rest of the night. The nausea wouldn't go away, even after taking the nausea medication (Metoclopramine HCL 10mg). Tried to eat but it only ended up bringing on vomiting.

 

Last night was better. Still woke very early, around 2am. Not much nausea and only on the verge of dry retching but never actually had it. Daytime feeling a bit better but still tired. Yesterday did a rubbish run (we have to cart our own rubbish to the tip here) and shopped for groceries. Can't see how that might have adversely affected me later in the day as I spent most of the rest of it laying down. This morning I did a little work but am taking it fairly easy the rest of the day. Fingers crossed...

 

I've developed a theory. Seems the chemo is coming out in my saliva (as well as wherever elsewhere) and causing that foul taste in my mouth. Swallowing the saliva puts that into the stomach which doesn't take too well to it. End result is the nausea, dry retching and vomiting. I'm trying to gargle my mouth regularly and spitting everything out. Hope it works. I'll try anything.

Dee58
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

Hang in there... it won't last forever... how long it WILL last though is the million dollar question 🙂  Everyone is different it seems...

 

I'm 2 months out of treatment now - have to wait until later this month before my the petscan that will determine if I am celebrating or not - and I am still on Fentynal patches... mind you, for the real burn, these are as useful as you -know-whats on a bull!

 

I can set my clock by my throat these days... every day around the same time, 5 pm, my throat starts to sting and burn and it gets really intense... painkillers take about 3 hours to kick in - so now I have to eat dinner by 3-4 pm or wait until around 9-10 pm to eat...  I wonder if that is a thing that others experience or just some weird "me" experience...

 

On a positive note, I have a lot of taste back... but I still haven't got the taste back for carbs and red meat or even chicken... in fact the only meat I can handle seems to be fish!  Oh, and lamb.  But nothing else.  That's just weird!  

 

And potatoes - and rice and pasta - and bread - and cake/biscuit type stuff - all no's...  great for my diet though ha ha...

 

Anyhow, hang in there... 

 

Donna

x

 

mensana
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

@Dee58, thanks. I am closer to the end than to the beginning. But the down side appears to be that the chemo is having a cumulative effect. The closer to the end, the more difficult it gets. And they say the end of the chemo doesn't bring a quick end to the side effects. I still haven't worked out about my diet, what I can or can't eat. Just seems most things don't want to stay down. And worse is that I can't seem to drink enough liquids without feeling nauseous.

 

I've been vomiting over the past week and most of it comes after taking anti-nausea tablets. I've lost 5kg in the past week. For the past 6 weeks they've been saying they'll get me a dietician but nothing has happened yet. Coughing has reduced, likely from the specific lozengers I'm taking for it. But only one a day, they taste really foul and are loaded with saccharin. Have to take them with food otherwise they'd come straight back up.

 

Up to now I've been driving myself to and from daily treatment. But it's become increasingly tiring. Have to try and get back home as quick as possible to lay down. On Friday after getting home I began to vomit and dry retch. Lucky it never happened while driving.

 

Not looking forward to the coming week. But, if I don't go through it, I'll never get beyond it.

Dee58
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

@mensana I know the feeling and sympathise with you and what you're going through ! x
At the end of my treatment i told my oncologist it is just as well this is the end because honestly, if it wasn't, I couldn't go on and do more... I'd be ending it right now... so it was just as well that was my last day of treatment! And you're right - the chemo gets harder with each treatment...

Hang in there... look for the light at the end of the tunnel and just focus on that!
xxx
Donna
Janine3220
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

Hi Mensana

Chemo is a bummer and I am sorry you have to experience it. But, it doesn't last forever. Picture your goals and the end goal (how you will be, feel, and what you are intending to do post-scourge) and remind yourself every time you stray and are focusing on the nausea - understandable but weakening and which plays into the mindless cancer blob. So quickly get back to visualising your goal and triumph. Yes triumph. You are dealing with a low-life 'parasitic' entity that you are fighting and overcoming.  I don't let bastards win ever, they all lose out in the end any way! Sometimes we need help to fight the bastards ie support and services. "Kill the bastard" (visualise it!) with the poison targeted at him, and relish every step of the way. 

1. See your GP immediately about the weightloss, nausea and dehydration. If you get no response or no assistance (he should be the problem solver on his fat salary) then you should see a lawyer about dereliction of duty of care down the track when you have recovered.

2. The GP should have provided you with electrolyte balancing sachets. Electrolytes are calcium, potassium, sodium and magnesium. These regulate our heart and all our electrical nervous system function - that's why you feel jittery and likely scared like everyone else. Electrolytes require water, liquid, hydration. Blood requires hydration. Nutrition requires hydration. Every single component in the body requires hydration.

3. Go to the Emergency dept of your local hospital. Dehydration is critical.

4. Take small tiny sips of liquid and make sure you keep cool in your climate! Take small bites - kitten-size : ) and chew to a liquid. Small is great. I would have thought the GP would give you Stemetil by injection or show you how to do self-injection. Stemetil is anti-nausea med.

5. As for weightloss, if you were overweight or obese - think positively. If you are underweight eat anything with calories - but preferably not junk which is anti-nutrition. Just remember added sugar is a cancer favourite food - it provides energy but has no nutrients whatsoever - if that turns you OFF from adding sugar to coffee/tea, eating junk for the rest of your life hallelujah.

6. EAT THIS. TAKE SMALL SIPS AND VISUALISE YOURSELF e.g. with your foot on the cancer blob holding him down while he's struggling to overcome you but of course you are not going to let him get away. Just keep sipping - stop as needed - recover and do not focus on nausea just stick to the goal of sipping, hydrating and putting on weight.

7. EAT THIS. Softened frozen yoghurt, good quality icecream, custard (2 c milk, 1 beaten egg, vanilla, cornflour/arrowroot stir till thickened, serve with tinned fruit or banana and sprinkle with cinnamon and or nutmeg) ,fruit purees and smoothies, scone with butter (grassfed if possible), milk and banana/mango/berry puree popsicles (just freeze liquid in plakky bag and suck on it) (you need calcium from milk/plant milk e.g. Vitasoy is an excellent brand).Make sure your water has been boiled before you drink it hot or cold.

>>>Vegetable soup made with a green veg like spinach/brussel sprouts/cauli/broccoli; an onion/leek/garlic; a tomato or juice; a potato with skin; a carrot/sweet potato/pumpkin/red or yellow capsicum; add water to cover, add olive/canola oil and if you can a teaspoon of turmeric, black pepper, iodized salt and any fresh herbs if you have them (basil, parsley, coriander whatever you like), dried is ok  - cook until soft and pureed - eat this every day as a liquid sipped throughout the day. (Mix the veg up in each grouping because variety is critical to nutrition). These antioxidants and electrolytes kill the shit out of cancer and prevent cancer.  

Eat mash potato, or potato and pumpkin mash etc.

8. Somehow manage to get into yourself some fresh orange/mango/kiwi; berries of any kind, or dried black currants if there's nothing else; banana; Even a small sip or bite/chew and hold is worth trillions!

9. If you can get some sultana bran or weetbix or porridge your stomach bugs will thank you - they are our natural born killer defence system producing the bugs that kill unwanted 'bugs' and intruders. THe soup and fresh fruit fibre and nutrients are also fibre that feeds them and us.

10. Do not char roast char grill or char pan-fry your meats. Only eat lean meat, chicken, pork, fish, eggs or beans that have been soaked 12 hours, rinsed and cooked (only Edgel brand soaks its beans). 100g x2 portions you need to rebuild your organs, bones and muscle. Suggest: a bean meal and one animal meal a day, or two bean meals a day.

11. Avoid fatty foods, deep-fried foods (never again) or any processed foods that have a long list of ingredient-additives.

12. Eat small frequent meals SLOWLY and rest before and after meals.

13. Exercising may be far from your thoughts, but a physio (get your GP to refer you) - just one session - can show you what you can do to stimulate endorphins which are important for well being and general health. It's not about playing tennis, or jogging, just gentle exercise - seek medical/physio advice for yourself on this. Everyone is an individual and care must be tailored to the individual.

14. If you are a smoker, stop. If you drink alcohol, stop. If you have bad teeth and gums, get this attended to since poor oral health leads to diabetes, heart disease, strokes, gut disease, and cancer. Brush teeth and gums gently on rising, after each meal and before bed. Rinse and gargle with lightly salted pre-boiled water from the kettle.

15. I can't think of anything else for the moment.

Eat small, sip small, rest, get some sun, keep cool.

 

Mensana, everything and everyone happens for a reason that is rarely apparent but it makes the world go round : ). You are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

 

Janine3220
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

Part 2. : )  A few more things:

 

You might want to try some fresh ginger slices in hot or cold water - ginger has anti-nausea properties.

Very sweet or spicy foods can also provoke nausea which you are trying to avoid.

When you eat/sip something cold, don't mix temperatures e.g. something warm/hot and vice versa.

Snack on e.g. brown/white rice crackers, dry toast.

 

Visualisation of keeping the food down (like a basin plug perhaps? or a garden hose kink?), detach yourself from the nausea in whatever way you can imagine. The brain is acting on signals from the oesophagus, mind over matter. There are cunning tricks in this game ...  : )

 

You are on the home run from this caper.  

 

EAT/SIP, REST, EAT/SIP, REST, EAT/SIP, REST.  : )

 

 

Janine3220
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

An excellent supplement for putting on weight or just nourishment is Fortisip from your chemist (they can get it in). It comes in 125ml serves (flavoured banana or something) and is full of calories, all the vitamins and minerals you need plus protein and fibre. Very balanced. You can have it on its own or mixed with e.g. milk  if you like. This will hydrate you and feed you.

 

Please contact your GP or go to Emergency if you are not able to eat or hydrate and are feeling lethargic. Meds cannot work if you are not hydrated.

 

Take good care

mensana
Contributor

Re: Grappling with reality

@Dee58, thanks, that final chemo is really the worst. I had the same feeling, if there was to be another one I wouldn't be able to do it. But I'm through now.

 

@Janine3220, thanks for all that advice. I've copied it so I can refer to it as needed.

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