Hi Jenna,
Yes, I can understand your meaning - of course it gets better right, that's because things aren't shockingly and frighteningly terrible anymore. But things are not necessarily great or good.
We wonder about the chances of ever return to who and how we were prior, and obviously this is a huge confrontation when there are physical changes to adjust to from - say - surgery, which of course you can appreciate. My thoughts are that you don't ever get your other self back though, when I think about it, the sarah that was there before this experience is not here now, but, there is another one, and probaably a more authentic one. Perhaps grieving for the loss of the old self is useful? Maybe also though, for the lost years, and lost future that those years might've brought too - eg, if you were young you may have been at uni, or had a family etc that you may be enjoying now, or life may not be a continual difficulty, again - say for example, because you would now be better off financially due to higher qualifications.
There are so many factors, and many potential losses - family, jobs, friends.. travel, fun.. so much.
I believe that my mind will never be the same, that my mind was lost. There is some discussion around about chemo-brain. While the chemicals for therapy that are used are super strong, and undoubtably damage brain-cells (imo), I also believe that the trauma of the event brings irrepairable damage to the brain. Such is the nature of trauma. What the ratio is between the damage of the trauma and the chemical effects cannot be speculated on, but it is my opinion that both elements leave their mark.
I hope you find others here to explore and heal with. It seems you're reaching out now to grow and heal again (from what little I can tell by your post). That's a good and strong step in itself. It's late here, I hope my post helps a bit, if only to encourage you to keep on keeping on! There are silver linings if you squint ;)
Good night.
Sarah.
