suzyq what sort of cancer are you fighting if you don't mind me asking ?
Yes it can be hard to keep going at times and it is difficult to see the top of the mountain that seems to loom over us, but if you keep climbing you will get to the top and stand there thinking to yourself "I have done it" :)
Just believe in you. Yes, I know that can be very hard and yes, the mind can take over - particularly in the middle of the night - but as long as you can believe in your body and that it is doing its bluddy best for you and you can cheer it on whenever it needs a helping hand, I think you will find the bad times may be less.
I just hope so, would love to hear back from you 🙂