Pushing people away

[Beatrice10]

Hi there I'd like to know more about the emotions cancer sufferers have gone through in relation to their friends and relatives. I'm personally a private person and I've only told a handful of friends that I have NH lymphoma.. I thought that after the first treatment I would be having a 2-year break, but unfortunately, I'm back on chemotherapy after only a few months. I feel overwhelmed when people start asking me or want to talk to me to see how I'm doing. It's actually a mixture or being overwhelmed and frustrated that my life is on hold while everyone else's carries on. I don't want people to think that i'm ungrateful, but I just want to go through this as privately as i can without being 'too exposed to the outside world'

[magagie]

Hi there, I completely understand how your feeling, I was really open about all of mine, but it did involve a car accident on the way home so I didn't have as much of a choice. I felt this way through treatment too, but I just kept reminding myself they were only doing what they thought was the right thing. But I have come to a point where I have distanced myself from people, because it was really becoming too much and I needed to deal with the emotions and anxieties before I can go telling other people what is going on? I completely understand, it's such a shit and hard thing to go through and there is nothing wrong with being private about it. I hope you know this is an open space and I am happy to chat any time. Wishing you the best through this difficult and shit journey . xx

[Beatrice10]

Hi Magagie Thank you for your kind words.. it's comforting to hear that you also felt the need to distance yourself from people in order to deal with your feelings. One positive thing I'm taking about the experience is that I've learnt to say 'no' to people when I don't feel like socialising and to put myself first without feeling guilty about it. How are you personally doing? are you still having treatment? xx

[Beatrice10]

Hi Magagie Thank you for your kind words.. it's comforting to hear that you also felt the need to distance yourself from people in order to deal with your feelings. One positive thing I'm taking about the experience is that I've learnt to say 'no' to people when I don't feel like socialising and to put myself first without feeling guilty about it. How are you personally doing? are you still having treatment? xx

[magagie]

Hi Beatrice, Anytime! It did really start to drain me, I felt like it came out of no where. But speaking to the oncology team and my GP etc, it's made me feel better about the need to have my space and the ability to say no to people, I always struggled with that one (still learning but getting better). I did however unfortunately distance myself from some friends who haven't taken it very well, they really don't understand some of their behaviours so that is a really big challenge. Personally I am doing ok right now, trying to get a project going that could help raise awareness for brain tumours. It somehow helps me in my recovery, it doesn't stress me, that and my blog are really great. I am not currently on treatment, finished 12 rounds of chemo in May this year. How about yourself? How are you going with everything? Are you on treatment and how is it? Wishing you well xx

[Beatrice10]

Hi Magagie I'm also devoting more time to myself.. not ready to see or talk to a few people. I've become more selective and I'm focusing more on being in a good place emotionally and mentally. Good to hear that you finished your treatment a few months ago and that your new project is keeping you occupied without being stressful. I still have a final round of chemo in two weeks time, so hopefully, I can get a bit of a break after that. Look forward to some normality. All the best to you too xx

[magagie]

Hope your doing well... This forum got lost with all the others x Maggie