I haven’t been diagnosed yet but...

[Anxiousmess25]

I have not been diagnosed yet and I feel weird turning to a forum but I have nobody to talk to about this really. Everyone is really dismissive while I feel like I’m being tortured. I feel alone and I’m terrified.

I have lump that is swollen so bad it makes it tough to swallow. It hurts and pulsates with pain often. I didn’t even notice it until January 13th and I’ve been in hell since then. I went to the emergency room, they ran the strep and mono tests and what not, negative. I have a CT scan on the 20th of this month but it has felt like an eternity to get to and then I have to wait to get the results.

Then a couple days ago I noticed a lump on my lung and it started hurting so bad I ended up in the ER again. The dr there tells me after doing an X-ray and ultrasound that it could be just swelling.. or a sarcoma but I need to see my dr to schedule an MRI to determine that. Well considering I didn’t bump it on anything and I’m anemic and a lump that damn large would have an atrocious bruise, I’m pretty sure this now burning and painful lump on my leg is a sarcoma but I’m trying really hard to think it’s not.

Anybody have any advice to ease my mind?

Again, I’m sorry for posting when I’m not even sure if I have cancer but I’m terrified and I look at or think of my kids and I burst into tears. My 9 year is high functioning autistic and a few other things and he needs me, I’m his person who gets his soul. I’m a complete whole mess.

[Kakite]

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. Best thing to do is try and calm and distract yourself before you get the MRI appointment and results. I’m new here too and currently waiting for further tests and I’m really worried as well. I’m trying to distract myself with work/walks(might not be possible with your leg though) and doing other productive things that keep me from reading stuff on google.

I really feel for you but try to deal with the facts as they come rather than being anxious about things that haven’t happened yet. If anxiety creeps up just roll with it but don’t get consumed by it. That helps me.

[Anxiousmess25]

Thank you for the response. I have done a decent job of refraining from google, as a writer who likes to research I’m quite proud of myself for this. I’m definitely distracted with my busy schedule but sometimes it just hits me in the middle of my day when the pain is throbbing from the different points that hurt. I have anxiety as it is so maintaining it is difficult. I’m finding the waiting to be the hardest part. I plan to call my dr Monday when his office opens so I can inform him what happened and we can have a plan of action.

[Anxiousmess25]

Also, sending good vibes your way!

[Kakite]

I really feel for you. Hope you can get it all sorted. I’m a bit of a mess today, very anxious about Friday and doesn’t help that I’m in pain and haven’t been able to keep any foods down for days now. 

[Anxiousmess25]

I’m sorry, what are you doing to combat the nausea? I have Zofran 4 mg but it’s not really doing anything.

[Kakite]

I couldn’t get in to see my GP so currently have nothing for the nausea. When I first went to she the doc I had none so I didn’t ask for meds, three more sleeps and hopefully I’ll know more.

[Anxiousmess25]

That really sucks. Do you think it’s whats going on or the anxiety that’s making you nauseous? I can’t decipher on my end which it is making mine worse. 

The place doing my CT scan called today and told me it’d have to be pushed back and can’t be done tomorrow cause my insurance still hasn’t approved it. 😔 I’m so angry. I told my man that if this is something time sensitive and god forbid I don’t make it because it took so long to sue Medicaid. He shook his head and said okay. He’s trying to be understanding but is really over my antics lately. I’m extra irritable, I’m not sure if it’s from the anxiety or what. Are you?

[Kakite]

Anxiety has been a lot better but symptoms unfortunately not... nausea is better too but I still can’t eat without extreme reflux or food coming back up. Really annoying you have to wait longer now! Two more sleeps for me and funnily I feel much better about it all. I just hope it’s nothing major and somehting they can treat easily.