I have had an uncommon surgery that began as a sore ear. I joke that I went in for swimmer's ear and came back with a cancer diagnosis. I have metastatic melanoma which has spread through the left side of my neck. A couple of years ago I had a melanoma removed from the left side of my face, in front of the ear, and this had now metastasized. All my lymph glands (150) were removed as well as the Parotid Gland, muscle and fat tissue, and nerves were cut creating permanent numbness affecting my shoulder, corner of my mouth, and ear. The surgery has left a noticeable indentation and scars. Further treatment will be needed. To feel I am owning the treatment which at times has made me feel awful I have started to write everything down. All the things I can do from special foods for fighting cancer and removing certain others, to exercise and physiotherapy, to expanding my social networks, to my moods, to activities I want to do, and so on. It is the 'on' that is important as the cancer surgery is such a shock - it has to happen before you understand it. I need to see I can make a difference in my prognosis as I am overwhelmed by a oncology team that is doing their best, but seems all powerful. As well, I am an aspie, that is someone with high-functioning autism. I have university post-graduate studies and alexithymia - go figure. Nevertheless, I am the Hermit, I carry my own light in dark places. Is anyone else making a cancer log?
